I am supposed to write about something that ticks me off and rant about it.  Me, who is never without an opinion or some gripe about the world, the politicians, the price of gasoline, or which diet I hate the most.  Of course... I can think of one thing that ticks me off ...one that is at the top of my head; one that I'm struggling with...
   Why can't I have my way like before?  Why doesn't anyone ask or care about my opinion about life or love anymore?  Why doesn't anyone value me anymore?  Does anyone care that I still have a brain that thinks, a heart that breathes, although I don't think necessarily in that order?  Why doesn't anyone care that my children have grown and left home to follow or fail in their own dreams?  Why doesn't anyone care that I'm tired and don't have the energy that I once had?  Why doesn't anyone care that I had to retire from a job that I was extremely successful at, just because there were younger bodies waiting in line?  Why doesn't anyone care that I can't afford medical insurance anymore, or that the medicine my body needs to hang in a while longer is no longer affordable? 
   Why doesn't anyone care that my husband died and left me to figure out that I had to take care of myself and wasn't prepared for the horrible task?  Why doesn't anyone care that I still miss him, his friendship, his encouragement, just seeing him smile and making things right again?  Why doesn't anyone care that I'm doing my best to move forward, to begin new, yet I'm struggling?  Why doesn't anyone care that the President has decided for me that we should be at war and let our youth be killed day after day for reasons that I don't understand?  Why doesn't anyone care that I can't survive on social security each month, and no one will hire me because I'm too old?  Why doesn't anyone care that I no longer have a voice, that my heart still beats with enthusiasm for tomorrow, that I'm afraid of what the future holds?
   It seems like only yesterday when I was young....that people cared, sought my advice, was included on invitation lists, and the phone always rang.  I'm still the same person, perhaps a little older, but I still care....I still want.... I still need.
   Age is not supposed to be just a number, at least that is what I've been told more times than I wish to count.  Articles abound on how to feel and live younger, longer, enjoy the senior years, but not one single one has left an indelible mark on my heart.  No one knows better than I, that I have complete control over what I think, what I feel, and what I do.  I still want to dance, to make love, to be loved, to explore places and things, and I enjoy the peace within my soul, while I don't want my body to turn old and ugly and out of shape.  I don't want to feel useless and obsolete.  Why doesn't anyone see that I am still vibrant, alive and determined to enjoy every step of this last journey in life?  
   Guess I answered the question myself.... What and who matters is me!  Getting old sucks....plain and simple..... however.... I'm putting on my rose colored sun glasses....the ones that make me look like a movie star....and I'm going to LIVE....LIVE....LIVE....