I think I like this Ranting Exercise thing... so much so that I think I may be on to something.  In the past I always called it, "Being ticked off" about whatever... Now, well, one of my writing instructors told us the value of ranting.  I really like it.  Ranting is good for the soul.  Ranting is good for the high blood pressure.  Ranting is good for the marriage and/or relationship.  Ranting is wonderful....IF DONE PROPERLY...  and my version of PROPER RANTING....is write it down... you can tackle the computer keyboard with a vengeance... attack the words you want...and if they don't fit, search for another one....until you get just the right word...the right Ranting word...  I don't know tho... I really like being "ticked off" to some extent...makes me feel like I'm really exploding inside and purging myself of these feelings of being mad and upset and tired and hurt and angry and ticked..... 
   Today I wrote a blog about lousy service at the bank.  I sure made me feel good to get it off my chest too.  I also thought about how last week I got sick and had to go to the Emergency Room...didn't want to go...was practically forced to go... and I was so sick.... that I could barely remember my name much less spell it or write it, and so as I'm laying there dying almost...vomiting and with fever.... in between barfing into a blue plastic baggie... this elephant walking woman (no reference to weight...just her general appearance as she presented herself to me) shuffles into the tiny area where I lay in sheer pain.... she shuffles her feet and her papers...not knowing which should be shuffled first....I presumed this anyway...  Then she vaguely recalls why she is in my cubicle...and says..."uh....are you (gives my name)?  "    I manage to grunt a yes.  She shuffles more papers and is searching for something...then I realize...Elephant woman wants to find something to sit on....  Nope....nothing here but this teensy gurney thing...and it's MINE... so... she sort of leans against it on one end, and I lift my head and upper torso up...grab the disgustingly half full barf bag up and say, "excuse me ma'm, but I think you'd better move."..... and then I begin to barf some more...  She shuffles again.... moves slightly out of the way...and then says...."Do you think you can answer a few questions now?"   Well, if I had a bow and arrow and could see....could hold it up to my chest....could pull the string....I would aim it at her and pullllllllll!!!!!!!!! but.... I manage to say..."Please take my ID and card and write down what you need." 
   Elephant Girl.... I know realize she is not quite a woman yet... must be in her late 20's... and has I doubt never showered, never lifted up one foot before the other when walking....she only SHUFFLES.... SO... She says, "I don't need any of that stuff...  just answer the questions!"  No smile... no diplomacy....just a blank stare on her less than sweet face... Ok..I tell myself... She has a job.  That is more than you have Missy Book Writer/Author... She gets paid.... you do not!  So... I smile thru cracked and disgusting lips... and say, "Please miss...ask the questions..because I don't know how long I can remember who I am." She grunts and shuffles again... and says... "ARe you a US Citizen?  I said, "Yes"....   then she asked, "Are you employed?"   I hold back the riotous laughter that has built up inside of me for the past 4 years of poverty and unemployment....and said, "No.... I do have a social security card tho."   She says... "I don't need that."   I then said, "I have a Medicare Card and Supplement info....do you need that for billing purposes?"  She looks at me as if I truly am from a third world country....and stares so hard without uttering a sound that I begin to think...."Am I dying in front of her?  Am I oozing or drooling barf?  Am I alive still?  Then she seems to emerge from her delirium and says..."That's it.  I don't need anything else... just sign here...."    With a flourish... the most movement I've seen in the past 15 minutes she's been hanging onto my gurney/bed.... she almost topples both of us as she leans in to get her bearing.... and I scream... she wakes up from her foggy delirium...and my male nurse runs into check and see what has happened.... "Are you okay?  What happened?"  He checks my IV, checks the lines that are dangling from wires poked into my arms and one on my chest... and then he says... "umm....ok... I'll leave you to finish your business."  and walks away...leaving me with Ms Elephant Girl/Woman/Thing..... 
   Okay... I know this sounds mean and insensitive... however; I believe that she was mean and insensitive...  She shuffled all those papers at me once again... placed one in front of another....after she hands me a pen....places it between my fingers and presses....almost writes my name for me... and points to a "line" where I am supposed to write my name.... several pages later.... who knows?   I may have taken out the mortgage on the darn hospital... the parking lot....the parking garage...the staff loungeS.... and... who knows what other equipment I may be financing for them now..... because.... they did manage to give me 3 brand new, still folded up blue barf plastic bags "to take home with me"....  
   It's been less than a week since I got home.... the temp is now normal, the dizziness has passed, I am no longer barfing.... but I do look as if I went thru a Domestic Violence Event.... the bruises on my arms, fingers, wrists, ankle and even my chest are pretty ugly... black, purple, blues and now turning sort of yellowish shades....yukk is the best way I know to describe them at this moment.  Well.. guess what came in the mail today?  THE BILL.....  Quite a heft sum.   No insurance, no medicare, no social security info on anything.... but lots of signatures... what we prefer to call AUTOGRAPHS now that we are published authors.... well... let me tell you now... this is called.... TRICKERY...CHICANERY.....FRAUD....  I don't know what I signed that night.... I don't know if that was even ME who signed those papers.... I don't know what they did to me...or what was wrong with me... and I certainly don't know where this Elephant Woman/Girl came from.... She didn't want or need any billing information...but now I have a huge...let's make it enormous bill for those free blue plastic barf bags....   Makes me wish that I'd let her topple us both over onto the floor so I could sue them and her for sending me to the poor house.... anyway....  I wasn't smiling that night...and I'm not smiling now.... 
   Guess what "ticks me off" is that Elephant Girl/Woman has a job...and I can't  get one...anymore.   I am too old....over the hill... and I guess I'm too perky....too customer service oriented... too helpful.....too much into getting all the information down, and making the patient comfortable...and all that stuff....  Guess I need to learn to "SHUFFLE" BETTER... Shuffle the paperwork so I appear to be busy and know what I'm doing.... Shuffle the feet so that I look like I've been working for 8 hours and almost exhausted from it all.... Shuffle from one side of the bed to the other until I find the right place to hold my Elephant body in an upright position.... Oh.... and perhaps I should learn to Shuffle the information so that at the end of the night....there is no information... I can just send the bill for everything.... Let the patient worry about how to file for Medicare, and let the patient worry about how to get the bill paid etc... 
   Guess I've turned this Ranting Exercise, right back into a Pissed Off...oops... Ticked off Exercise.... sorry.... but I sure do feel better now...