Natasha stood very straight, very still hoping the walls didn't come closing in on her. But they were he was coming again she opened her bedroom door and jetted for the front door being careful not to make any noise it'll give her a head start (she knew he was going to find her only a matter of time). Natasha knew where she could hide for the night, the park she hadn't tried that before this time of night it had to be cold cause of the water and this summer night wasn't really a summer night. As she ran she looked back and he had spotted her through the window and she knew he would be on her tail. Natasha ran and ran and she didn't stop for cars when she was crossing the streets, nor the fact that she didn't have any shoes on slow her up. She didn't stop until she was safely down by the river behind a building. She cursed herself for the honking cars because she had left a trail. But once he had your scent it was over anyway. The wind blew violently against her silk night gown, oh how she loved the feel of silk against her body, but her back was up against a brick wall cold from life's cycle. Natasha knew she wasn't a good swimmer so that thought (to jump in the water) quickly lefted her, she had only thought of it because she knew that he probably wouldn't think to look there, but the Michigan rivers were very treacherous. How did he find her she had done such a good job of leaving las vegas of changing lanes of trying to take the road less traveled......But here and now he was riding her back. She had heard that once he gotten a taste of you that he would be on you until you were his...there has got to be away. Natasha could feel his shadow starting to cover her she could taste...the smell of defeat in the air her heart started to beat faster. Natasha closed her eyes and tried to dig her nails into the brick wall...she tried to wrap it around her...but the wall just stood there cold....wouldn't offer her any comfort or sheilding.
He tasted Natasha for the first time when no one would believe her and she ran to him weeping and crying...and he knew all to well her story and he comforted her...he always made her feel good...he gave her a new perspective on herself, her self-worth, and the world around her. And she shot it in...and soaked it up. There was no constellation that everything and everyone she knew had told her that he was bad for her...shit she saw everyday life all around her, but he told her that she was different and she believed. And he got soooo good to her oneday, that she found herself hugging the toilet on the floor in her bathroom shittin, pissin and vomitting at the same time, chills had covered her body and sweat was pouring out of every pore, no hole on her body was saved...her body was empting out every liquid/fluid that was in her . And she laid there in her own madness...the stinch was the only thing that let her know that she was still alive then blackness came...........and white walls...white walls...white walls.
He let her leave he knew that she would be back everytime she had a problem she would come to him he knew she knew that he loved her and that he would take care of her better than anyone/anything...he made her believe that she needed him. That is how he got all of them....bunches at a time...See he had a way of confusing and mis-using tall dark and handsome...how many would fall...always knowing the right things to say and when you realize.... those who realize it, it is too late......
the chills poped up on her body like popcorn in a microwave, he was close now. Natasha had ran from her home becasue of his constant calling ringing her bell nothing the police could do to help her, her family washed their hands of her long ago, nothing no one could do after the stealin and lyin. And fancy pancy knife trick she tried to do to stop him from flowing under her skin didn't help any. He had told her that there was nothing she could do to stop him from getting to her, getting into her head, that he was already in her heart and now he was going to take over her hands and no one would belive her when she said she was only trying to stop him...The blood just spilled over onto the floor, she cut both her wrist not wanting to leave the other one to chance, and before she could tell if he had fallen out her arms and on to the floor then the blackness....and white walls....white walls...white walls...she passed out she knew it was from all the stress, the late night arguements with him but the doctors n' her family seemed to think differently and to get out of that place that whacky hell hole it was better to lie, like my daddy always told me "sometimes the truth requires a lie".
The holes in her arms (war scar from their first meeting) seemed to know he was near they played open and close games and she grabbed them almost drawing blood from each side of her elbows trying to get them to stop, but the voices came in on her "aw.....just go back give him what he wants", then the wind started at her "nobody has to know" the wind whispered in her ear....then an angel appeared over her right shoulder "what about John, he is there for you", then the devil popped over her left shoulder "please he is just like every other man in your life, he's only taking in what you give",then he started dancing and singing "what's love?" back and fourth they went tipping the scale each time in their favor. Natasha grabbed her head to stop the arguing between her right and left brain but then she felt his breath on her neck....and his hands went straight through her skin to her bone when he touched her shoulder....."baby why you running from me??? Don't you know by now daddy loves you? and there is nowhere to run......"
Natasha tried to breathe but she couldn't he had filled her air and the only way she could get away now was to swim...the deep blue/black waters offered her a peace if even for a short period, it was an offer that she had to take, it was no getting around it. Natasha broke from his touch and dived right into his arms (how did he do that how did he trick me again) first he punished her for running by sticking her with thousands of pins, the coldness of him had shocked her causing her to go into a seizure type convolsion, then he pulled her shaking her all kinds of ways trying to get her to understand the seriousnes of her actions, as confusion drifted with consciousness and life outward
she felt warmth that came up from inside of her and pictures of places and people and a light that seemed to get further and further away. Natasha seemed to be going deeper inside of him....Oh God felled from her lips what have I done?
..........then blackness
White walls.....white walls....white walls
Third time tied to the bed wonder how long I'll be here this time? No one wants to believe that its not me trying to kill myself. It's death he won't let me go...............
but they say....third times the charm
~~~~~~~~~~smile~~~~~~~~~
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Reviewed by April Smith
7/12/2004
Oh man...I held my breath reading this one, waiting for the end...very good write, girl! April
Reviewed by ELAINE HAMMOND
4/26/2003
This story should be a mandatory read for anyone in Rehab. love ya Auntie
Reviewed by lovechild
9/14/2002
death addiction....very hard forces to fight against
this is a chilling story enjoyed them both!!!
girl you good
Reviewed by WaymonB
6/4/2002
I am very intrigued in the final conclusions.
I quite enjoyed how Natasha's conflicting thoughts flowed...
This one rocks. Thanks for the comments on "Room" I was planning to throw the Anthrax midi with it because when I first put it out -- I was using the song as inspiration to write that one.
Reviewed by R Roland
5/29/2002
Kinda creepy...hope to goodness this is fiction. That death guy is a bastard.
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