SISTER JACQUELINE - Mother of Mercy

   A friend of mine had a tenant living in his building, and he said that at least once a week, Sister Jacqueline would come storming into the office demanding to speak to the Manager!   Sister Jacqueline was a tall, quite overweight woman, although she dressed very well, and wrapped her head with turbans of beautiful fabric.  She walked with her head held high, and had a smile on her face most of the time... Today was not one of those times.  
    "I'm not gonna tell you again Mister, you have to get someone to exterminate my apartment again... and it must be done before tomorrow...Friday night!"   The manager asked, "we just had a complete extermination less than two weeks ago, are you saying your apt has bugs?"   "Are you crazy? screamed Sister Jacqueline.... Bugs!  No bugs... these are men who sneak into my apt during the middle of the night when I am sound asleep...usually on Friday and Saturday nights.. They wait until I am sleeping, resting peacefully...then they crawl into the bed with me, and try to do sinful things to me... I know that it's the smell of the semen in my apt that keeps them coming over.... You must do something about it now!"  
   Hoping he could hold his laughter in check, the manager said, "Sister Jacqueline....we can exterminate for insects, bugs and creatures like that; however, we cannot exterminate friends or men that come over and visit you during the nights on weekends.  You must do your own exterminating.  Have you asked God to help you to rid yourself of these unwanted guests?"    Her eyes got larger than normal, and she closed one of them in a squint...not a friendly squint either...and said, "These unknown strangers sneak into my apt, week after week, and they spike my orange juice and apple juice with drugs, and it's just to get me high so they can have sex sith me.... and I do my very best to fight them away, but with that semen spray that lingers in my unit, it's almost impossible to ward off these men....  The only way they can be eliminated is to remove the semen smell from the unit... and that is your job!"
    In order to keep peace, and not create more problems, the manager decided to take different measures this one time.  He paid for Sister Jacqueline to stay at a reputable hotel down the street, and then he had her unit sprayed and the carpets cleaned, the drapes freshened, and the entire unit was scented with a fresh clean air scent..  There was no way that semen or any other negative odor could be detected now. 
   Sister Jacqueline returned two days later, and oohed and aahed at her beautifully cleaned unit, and commented on how fresh it smelled.. She signed a paper/release, confirming that there was no hint of semen scent in the air anywhere in that apt.   She shut the door and it was quiet the rest of the week, but like clockwork, here storms Sister Jacqueline on Friday morning once again!  
   What's the problem Sister Jacqueline?  asked the manager.  She stood directly in front of him and said without hesitation.... "Well, the apt smells nice, but now all my clothes smell like semen, and I can't wash the smell out of them.... what are you going to do about that?"   Without skipping a beat, the manager said, "Well, Sister Jacqueline.... I'm not going to do a darn thing about the smell on you or your clothing...so I would suggest that you tell your mysterious guests to take your laundry and pay for it themselves... "    The manager said, he knew she had been caught... and so she said, "I'll just do that, and they had better do a good job of cleaning every single outfit too."    With that, she left the office, and never returned.   That is...until..... she was evicted for non-payment of rent.... seems that these mysterious men who were drugging her for sex, were also stealing her money and all her charitable contributions that she collected from her friends....  however; she did manage to get several new outfits those last few weeks.... and she explained, "these lovely clothes are gifts from heaven."