Just when I think things are progressing for Kaysa, *boom!*  Something else happens to throw a monkeywrench into the works, and she ends up back in the hospital.  Again.

This is one of those times.  Kaysa had another spell with her breathing, plus her cholesterol readings were off the charts.  She was on the verge of having a heart attack or go into respiratory failure.  She's now resting comfortably in the PICU, where she is closely being monitored, treated.

Kaysa went into the hospital two days ago; I haven't left her side.  I've been staying in her room, sleeping with her, awakening when she cries or when one of the nurses comes in to the room, to check on her.  Whoever says you get rest in a hospital obviously hasn't spent any time there because I know from experience.  You don't.

I don't know what I would do if anything were to happen to Kaysa.  She is so young; yet she suffers so much, and it breaks my heart, each and every time.  I don't know what I or she may have done to deserve this; it doesn't seem right or fair!!  She's just a little girl; she deserves to be happy!!

I have been trying to stay strong for Kaysa, but when doctors or nurses keep poking her with needles or examine her, hearing her screams tear at the very core of my being.  All I can do is stand there as they torture my baby girl, try to calm her, as I hold her down, so they can do their (dirty) work.  It's one of the worst things a parent can ever go through:  watch their very own child suffer needlessly.

I can't tell you how many times I've cried over my Kaysa.  This is when I hate her illness; this is when I wish that God would just take her to Heaven, so she wouldn't have to suffer any more.  She's already been through too much now in her two brief years on this Earth; she deserves far better!!

Well, I am going to go to the cafeteria; it's fixin' to open in a few minutes.  I have to get something to eat; maybe it will help settle the nausea that threatens to rise.  I will then go to the waiting room and wait for visiting hours to begin at nine; hopefully Kaysa  had a good night.  I will find out then just how she did. 

I will write in here again soon with another Kaysa update; stay tuned!

~As always, your friend, Kaylee, Kaysa's mommy. :(