John Kennedy was President, and Jackie was the Fashion Icon of the world.  Turning 18 was a dream come true , and I had places to go, people to see...a fairytale life ahead of me.   Dressed in my faux Chanel suit, trimmed in faux mink around the collar, faux silk stockings, spike suede heels to match, faux pearls around my neck and adorning my earlobes, black stretch gloves carrying a simple black clutch bag with a tiny pearl closure....I landed a job as THE GIRL FRIDAY of a large company.  $550 a month was twice what my girlfriends earned, plus...I was the only female in the company of seven suave, handsome salesmen!  Fortunately, I was dumb about life, or rather...naive...but I was smart as a whip when it came to knowing my job well...
    Saturdays were my special day since I didn't have to work.  Today I was on my way into the big city to shop and cruise in my beautiful brand new Ford Dreamliner convertible....teal blue with white leather upholstery.  Dressed in my weekend, casual but trendy attire, I headed down Broadway, a main street in town.  The hair was coiffed ala' Sandra Dee, and a silk scarf wrapped loosely in order to keep the wind from whipping it out of place.  A spaghetti strap sundress of white eyelet with tiny pink embrodiered rosebuds sprinkled the full skirt that covered the layers of crisp starched white frilly petticoats.  My stockinged feet were wearing the latest stilleto, white patent pumps, and my face was lightly made up with only a hint of pale Nude Pearl Glace' lipstick.  A very beautiful pair of white rhinestone trimmed, cat-eye mother of pearl sunglasses covered my innocent hazel eyes. 
    It was difficult for me to ignore the passing glances from male admirers in the cars that were sharing the road with me; but I refused to give in to their stares and flirtacious looks.  Afterall, I was sophisticated, and I now realized that in order to be the "S" word, I had to have a long, white cigarette dangling between my fingers...even if I didn't know how to smoke it.  With one white gloved hand on the steering wheel, and the other holding a cigarette, I did my best to look beautiful, drive carefully, and not allow the admirers to distract me.  It was not easy today however, because the car to my left, driven by a really old man of about 35 kept motioning to me, and I had to simply ignore his cheap flirting.  The car on the right of me had two really cute guys, closer to my age, and they were hollering and hooting and making fools of themselves...honking and pointing and yelling what I could not make out...even if I was interested! 
    A few blocks into my casual drive, both cars refused to stop flirting, but I noticed a faint odor of smoke in the air, wondering where the fire could be in town.  No matter, I kept driving and adjusting my lovely scarf...there was an art to scarves...  Coiffed hair had to last a few days...sprayed stiff with Super HOld hairspray...then you wrapped the scarf...gently...so as not to smush your hair...just softly so that you still looked gorgeous and it helped to keep your hair in place all at the same time!   The smoke was getting stronger, and then I heard before I actually saw, a huge red firetruck coming behind me.  Although I had been driving for a couple years, the sirens were making me nervous, and I knew it was the law that I get out of the lane of traffic, and pull over to the right, out of the way of the firetruck.  Gently gliding my car over to the side of the road, I pulled it into park, in order to allow the truck to pass. 
   Within seconds, both cars that had been following me flirting were stopped also, and the three occupants headed straight to me!  The firetruck had pulled alongside of me, blocking my way if I had wanted to leave; and soon they were dragging me out of my beautiful convertible....Now in flames...   The older man was slapping my beautiful skirt and petticoats with a towel, in an attempt to douse the flames, while the others were gathering my belongings from the front seat in order to prevent them from bursting into flames as well.  The firemen were pouring huge torrents of water onto my gorgeous new car, and as they dragged me out of the way, my white patent pump caught onto a hole in the pavement, broke in half, and I had to giddy-yup out of the way!  Someone pulled the scarf from my head, began to wipe at my face with it, and when I touched my face, my white glove turned black!  Where is there a mirror when a girl needs one? 
    By the time the firemen had doused the flames, my car was a shambles....filled with soot and black from smoke, with a huge gaping hole in the luxurious white leather upholstery...wow...even the springs were visible!  Sitting in the firetruck didn't help, as I looked into the mirror, and saw that my face was smudged with dirt and grime, and I had to wipe the soot from my pretty cat-eye glasses so I could see.  My cute sundress was torn and ruined, and the petticoats were stringing below me on the floorboard of the truck, and let's not forget...a part of one shoe was still sitting in the middle of Broadway, while the other one and ahalf shoes were still wrapped around my feet.  As it turned out, my day of being Miss Sophisticated, was ruined!  The cigarette that I insisted on lighting, had long been forgotten...what with all the flirting and dodging of admirers and all...so the ashes piled up and dropped onto the skirt of my sundress...and soon...the embers began...catching the seat on fire, my skirt and petticoats on fire, and I could have been burned to death or whatever.... Gee...what a mess!  
   I had to call my daddy to come to the city and pick me up, and mom brought clean clothes; while the two cute guys let me sit in their car.  The good thing is that I had a date for next Saturday with one of the cuties, and.... he asked me please not to smoke!
   Being gorgeous is not easy...and being sophisticated is even tougher...  At the time I was humiliated and embarrassed; but after all these years, it makes me smile...  oh... and.... I also understand why I was probably the only person in history to actually BELIEVE CLINTON WHEN HE SAID...I DIDN'T INHALE!