Just when I think we are moving forward, *BAM*  Here comes a new medical crisis, a new hospitalization, more worries on top of everything else I've had to go through thus far.

Kaylee Beausoleil here.  I'm afraid I'm not doing very well:  Kaysa is back in the hospital, in Intensive Care.  That's how serious this latest setback is.  She suffered a sharp rise in blood pressure, had a prolonged seizure that scared the living hell out of me.  One minute, she was lying in her bed, cooing happily; the next, she was jerking spasmodically, head thrown back, drooling copiously, eyes rolled back into her head, face all blue.  She looked ghastly; it was beyond terifying.

I immediately called for the rescue squad.  They came in a matter of moments.  They soon carted Kaysa off to the nearest hospital; she's now there, fighting this latest health problem.

Right now the doctors don't know what is going on; they are, however, concerned about brain damage:  Kaysa isn't responding as well as she should; the very thought of having a damaged child frightens me to the very core of my being.  She's already suffered enough; why can't God just be merciful and take her home??

I've dropped the older children off at my mom's house; she will keep watch over them while I camp out at the hospital, so I can be with my youngest.  I don't know when I've been so scared; this is one of the worst things that can ever happen to a parent.  I wouldn't wish this hell on anyone!

I'm sitting here at my child's bedside, watching her sleep under heavy sedation.  She is hooked up to a whole host of tubes, wires, monitoring equipment; the only signs that she is even alive is the strong rhythmic sound of her heartbeat and the sound of the respirator breathing for her.  Her skin is paper-white, her hair is slicked down with a sheen of sweat, and she lies on her back, spread-eagled, unfeeling, unmoving,  unseeing.

She has no idea what's happened to her or what is going on around her.  It is very disconcerting; she looks more dead than alive; it's enough to make me break out into a fresh torrent of tears once again.

Every few minutes, nurses come in, gently tend to my broken child, make sure she's somewhat comfortable, or they do procedures on  her.  So far, she hasn't responded; it's as though she's in a comatose state.  The last doctor who looked at her doesn't hold out much hope; he is saying that she may end up dying.  That's how sick she is.  Devastation, utter devastating news.

Kaysa's BP is still high; however, medication is (slowly) bringing it down.  So far, her vital signs are (relatively) stable; however, it doesn't take the edge off the seriousness of her illness, and I don't know what's going to happen from one moment to the next.

Well, she's starting to seize again, and the doctors, nurses want me to leave while they tend to her.  Oh, God, I wish I knew what is happening to my baby girl!!

~To be continued~