AuthorsDen.com   Join | Login    
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    BOOKS    SAMPLE CHAPTERS    AUDIOBOOKS    eBOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    VIDEOS    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  David Arthur Walters, iValerie Boggess, iSam Vaknin, iEdie Batstone, iSergio Serrano, Ph.D., iPamela Wiedenbeck, iWilliam Potter, iTrennis Killian, iRoxanne Howe-Murphy, iT. Cline, i

  Home > Humor > Stories
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

Katie Gabrielle

 Follow Me  

· Contact Me
· Sponsor Me!
· Books
· Articles
· Poetry
· Stories
· 185 Titles
· 407 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Jan, 2007

Katie Gabrielle, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.


Let's Play Jeopardy!
by Katie Gabrielle
Thursday, September 18, 2008

Rated "PG13" by the Author.

       
Recent stories by Katie Gabrielle
· The Twelve Sucky Days of Christmas
· A to Z Acronym Story
· Moon Over the Arches
· The song of summer
· sunrise
· Amy and Isabelle
· Hercule Poirot and the Case of the Missing Ruby
           >> View all 96


     Welcome to Jeopardy! The game show where regular Joes and Politicians get to match wits or lack of....





   

 

 


Alex Trebek:  "Welcome to Jeopardy. Let's meet our contestants, beginning with Frostbite Falls Mayor and Russian defector, Boris  Badinov."

Boris:  "Hello Alex. Remember "fearless leader" is watching."

Alex: "Who is "fearless leader?"

Boris: "If you not know who "fearless leader is, you betta watch it!"

Alex: "I'm shaking in my boots, Boris."

Boris: "Good. Fearless Leader likes shaking boots."

Alex: "Let's get to know you a little better, Boris."

Alex: "Boris, I understand you're having some problems with your budget over there. Were you really off in your projections by $7.5 million  last year, leaving a huge deficit compounded by more ridiculous revenue
projections for 2008?"

Boris:  "It's all just a misunderstanding. Huge grants will be arriving any day now from dozens of Nigerian individuals I've been corresponding  with by e-mail."

Alex:  "I see. Our next guest is Bart Simpson, executive director of the Mississippi River Joint Toll Bridge Commission. Bart, You've been under
fire for secret meetings, drug running, accepting favors from
prostitutes and vendors, deception about the purpose of your gigantic  toll increase and now paying expensive consultants to train your workers to deceive the public with vague, evasive language. Your response?"

Bart: "Eat my shorts."

Alex: "Now, be serious, Bart. My patience runs thin!"

Bart: "Okay, okay. We are empowering our associates to leverage their communicatory resources to maximize their ability to elucidate our  objectives in an efficacious manner. Whew! Try saying that fast five times. I bet you can't Alex. If you can I'll eat my own shorts!!"

Alex: "Some other time, Bart."

Alex: "Money well spent, I see. And our third guest is President George W. Bush. Mr. President, it's a thrill to have you here."

George:  "Thank you, Alex.  I'm a big fan of your show. Where's Vanna?"

Alex:  "Let's see our categories. They are: World Leaders, War and Peace, The Economy, Plain Speaking and Action Figures. George, as leader of the Free World, you begin."

George:  "Bring it on.  I'll take Action Figures for $40."

Alex:  "Nemesis of He-Man."  BZZZ. "George."

George:  "Who is Skeletor? Action Figures for $60."

Alex:  "Elite force of GI Joe members diguised as..." BZZZ. "George."

George:  "What are Spy Troops? Action Figures for $80."

Alex:  "Optimus Primal is ...?" BZZZ. "George."

George:  "What is Transformers Maximal?"

Boris: "This is ridiculous. Did you brief the guy on the categories in advance?"

George:  "I've been collecting action figures for years. I use them to act out many of our battle plans in the Oval Office before I authorize military..."

Vice President Dick Cheney entering the studio: "Mr. President, I don't think we need to get into that kind of detail."

Alex: "Please make your next selection."

George:  "Just to satisfy the whiner over here, I'll switch categories. Plain Speaking for $60."

Alex:  "Overcharging the public."  BZZZ. "Bart."

Bart:  "What is maximizing your monetary resources to meet the intimidatory paradigm of inflation, terrorism and regulatory..."

Alex: "No." BZZZ. "Boris."

Boris:  "What is gouging? Plain Speaking for $100."

Alex:  "Public officials taking an expensive, unnecessary resort trip under the pretense of training."  BZZZ. "Bart."

Bart:  "What is an entirely justifiable investment in enhancing the parameters of ..."

Alex: "No. Whoops, we're out of time. Bart, you're in the hole, so you can take your parameters out of here.

George and Boris, please write down your Final Jeopardy wagers. Our final answer is:  "The biggest issue facing our nation today." (Theme music)

"Boris, you had $160. You answered...What is one-way streets as a contributor to crime? Wrong.   You wagered ... $2.2 million. I'm afraid  you have a gigantic deficit.

"George, you had $180. You answered..."What are steroids in sports and gay marriage?"

"That's incredibly wrong. You wagered....$477 billion. Gentlemen, you can't spend more than you have."

George: "Wanna bet?"

 

 


 
 

 

 

Want to review or comment on this short story?


Need a FREE Reader Membership?


Reviewed by Gene Williamson 9/18/2008
This is terrific, Katie. It's good to see that you've been busy.
-gene.

Free Book Review Program
Select a book to read and review today!

Soldier's Gap by David Schwinghammer

Deputy Dave Jenkins sets out to find the murderer of the local high school principal, aided by a voice from the grave that is sometimes helpful and sometimes misleading. "Murder isn't usually this funny." Amazon reviewer  
Member BookAds

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part IV by Jay Dubya

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part IV is adult literature featuring adult content and language that satirizes thirteen famous short fiction works.  
Member BookAds

Hawthorne: Hazed Hooked Hammered & Hijacked by Jay Dubya

Hawthorne: Hazed Hooked Hammered & Hijacked is adult humor that satirizes 12 popular Nathaniel Hawthorne stories in parody form.  
Member BookAds