I wish he'd never been born.  I wish I didn't have a brother who was sick all of the time.  I wish I could be able to play with him more.  I wish he wasn't in or out of the hospital so much.  I wish I had AIDS so my parents could pay attention to me.

These are some of the thoughts that often go through my mind whenever I look at my little brother, Webbster, who has AIDS.  He got AIDS because while in the hospital, he got a transfusion of bad blood, and it made him sick.

Webb is a year old, but he's had more sadness in his young life than anyone has a right to go through.  He can't help being sick all of the time. Sometimes he gets so sick we're afraid he's going to die.  Several times we've had to call for an ambulance because he'd have problems breathing, and the ambulance men had to come and take him to the hospital, so they could help him.

Mama and daddy have tried to be brave, but I see them, hear them, crying just about every night.  When Webb is in the hospital, I often have to stay at granma Juice's house (her real name's Jucinda, but we call her "Juice" for short), so they can stay with my little brother.  They want to be there in case something should happen to him.

This is when I wish that Webb could just up and die because then  maybe our family'd be happy again.  Now, I know this isn't nice, but I can't help it, or how I feel.  I hate seeing mama and daddy being so sad, and I hate worrying about my brother every minute of the day.  I'd like to have one day where I don't have to think about hospitals, ambulances, IVs, oxygen, or those scary rooms where people are hooked up to all sorts of machines and wires, and you don't know if they're going to be okay or not.

I'd like to have one day where all I have to worry about is what I'm gonna wear to school, or whether my friend Pete is going to hit another homeroom during our baseball game at recess, or whether Ms. James, our teacher, is going to pile on the homework again like she did last week.  I don't want to have to think of Webb and all his problems!

Webb is in the hospital now as I write this.  I am waiting for my granma Juice to come get me to take me to her house.  I like it there because she bakes me cookies or lets me watch cool videos, just so's I can get my mind off Webb.  She spoils me rotten, and she lets me play with her big dog, an English sheepdog she calls "Hairball".  I love "Hairball" because he is so goofy; he always makes me laugh. 

Mama and daddy are at the hospital with my brother.  I suppose this is best, but I sure do miss them!  I try to think good things, that Webbie will be okay; at the back of my mind I think that maybe today's the day he's going to die, and I don't like worrying like that!

Well, I've managed to make the tears start up again, so I'm going to go.  I will write in here again; hopefully next time I do, Webb will be home, doing better than he is now!  Bye for now!

~Written by Caleb O. McNamee, aged 12. :(

~To be continued.~