Rainbows in the sky

Sometimes I am in a place that is so good words can hardly describe the feeling of my being. So many "firsts" have happened in my life in the past year. I feel so brand new sometimes, like I am seeing my life for the first time and am amazed at it all, happy to see it and be in it.

There was a time when I honestly felt hate for life. I felt cheated and mistreated by the world I was forced into; everyday eagerly waiting for that bus to hit me and put me out of my misery.

Oh, how life has changed. Oh, how I relish the thought of one more day here on this beautiful place called earth. Opening my eyes in the morning with zest and anticipation for what wonderful thing will come next into my experience.

Being a deliberate creator, being conscious of my thoughts and feelings has been what has set me free. Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! How sweet it is to be free, free to choose, free to feel, free to BE. I will never keep myself in bondage again. This life has so much to offer, if only we open our eyes and see we have the CHOICE.

So, rainbows in the sky. I did the math and it has been 26 years since I have flown on an air plane. Not because I don't like them or that I am afraid of flying but because I have been so busy being mad and resentful that nothing really good had come into my life, no reason to fly anywhere. No exotic vacations to go on where a plane was necessary.  Well, last Friday morning I found myself up at 5am to catch a flight to Atlanta to visit my girlfriend for the weekend. I didn't feel much excitement about the trip until about 5:30am when I was getting myself showered and dressed for this little excursion. All of a sudden I realized I was going to be flying and I was going on a mini vacation. I was going some place because I wanted to not because I HAD to. The feeling that ran through my body was one of sheer exhilaration. 

My ticket was paid for by her company so I had no say in seats or times. There were no real expectations simply because I didn't know what to expect, 26 years is a long time and I had no real memory of what it was even like to fly. I had been told that it was a pain to get through security and that the wait would be long and boring. You see though, I don't really pay attention to information like that; it doesn't serve me to believe anyone else's beliefs.  So as I said my goodbyes to my partner and entered the airport, I was greeted with smiles from everyone. My ticket was waiting for me at the counter and I was sent to the security line, which was very short and quick. I walked to my gate and saw a man holding a little child, talking to her and playing with her while they walked to their gate. Every person I saw had a smile on their face and looked happy to be up this early in the morning, eager to get to their destination. I walked with my rolling, carryon bag and was amazed at the freshness of the place. Before I knew it they were calling for my flight to board.

I followed the person in front of me till we reached the door of the air craft. The stewardess welcomed me aboard and looked at my ticket then directed me to my seat, which happened to be a window seat. My heart beat an extra beat when I realized I would be sitting next to the window. I was so happy! I shuffled into the tight quarters and fastened my seat belt. My smile was so big it was making my face hurt.

As the plane started to roll, I became even more excited. Soon we were up in the air as I watched the plane separate from the land. Wow! I’m flying! As the nose pointed upward, faster and faster, I watched to world become smaller and smaller. Soon we were so far away from earth that it looked like a monopoly game board then just a map with lines were roads flowed. Then I saw the biggest, whitest, fluffiest clouds I had ever seen coming our way. My eyes were opened so big as to make sure I didn't miss one little piece of what was to come next. I found myself with my face pressed against the little window and my hands holding onto the edges, as if I were trying to open the window further so I could see more.

This is where words can hardly describe the feelings, the view from my eyes. It was magnificent! The clouds were like large, white mountains and the air was like the ocean, blue and crystal clear. Tears fell from my eyes as I watched the endless clouds billowing as far and wide as my eyes could hold. A whole other world was before me, a beautiful enchanted land of sky and mountain clouds. Time stood still and Just as I was finally taking a real breath and pulling my body away from the window a bit, as I moved back into my seat, I gasped! as I saw the most beautiful rainbow reaching from one cloud to another. I was frozen with the beauty; I was in awe, filled with so much joy my eyes welled up again at this absolutely amazing sight. I smiled an appreciative smile as I held my hand to my heart. “Thank you.” I said to mayself. It was as if the whole world had stood still just for me while a vision of heaven was presented to me, my soul was in bliss and at so much peace. I could only sit there with a calm I had never felt before, being sure not to blink and watch as the plane passed the rainbow by moving higher into the sky, till there was only blue to see.

I dried my eyes and finally blinked a few times to see that I was still in a physical place with other physical people around me. I didn't want to lose that vision, that gift I was given so I closed my eyes as often as possible during the rest of the flight, painting that scene in my mind and in my heart. It will always be mine to reflect on whenever I want to. I will never crowd my mind with so many other unnecessary things as to lose that beauty.  It was so much more than these words I am using to bring those moments to life and I know it means more to me than to anyone else. I wrote this story for myself, as another tool to remind me once again of how wonderful this life I now live is. If you are touched by my words and experience than I am again grateful and appreciative to have had the opportunity to share with you. I choose the beauty in life, the rainbows in the sky. What do you choose?

While the rest of my vacation was wonderful and I enjoyed my friends company, nothing could top that 10 amazing minutes of my life. That is what it must feel like to be born, to be fresh, untainted by the negative influences of others. This life is good, but only if you choose for it to be; only if you look for the evidence of it. The Choice is ALWAYS yours.

Deborah Miranda

9-18-08