So often in life we take things and people for granted...then, they are lost or gone, and we wish we had taken better care of them.  In my past, I had a lovely pair of diamond earrings that were a gift, and I took them for granted, as I did many other things.... just laid them wherever, not caring for them properly.  One day I went to wear them...and i couldn't find them!  Suddenly, I realized how much I loved those earrings, not simply because they were beautiful and expensive, but because they were from someone who loved me very much.  I searched, and then I cried...knowing they were lost.

   While my husband was alive, we were inseparable for the most part, always doing things together, and then he too was gone....taken from me and I was inconsolable.   When we lose a loved one, it takes time for some of us to realize that he or she will not be coming back....although, often...we wait....and pray that they will walk right back through the door, and we will wake from that horrible nightmare!  Sadly, but realistically... they will not be coming back, and we eventually come to that realization.   We searched, and then we cry....knowing they are lost.

   Amazingly, however...some of us are blessed beyond measure because our loved one(s) often find ways to reach us from beyond.  This is a phenomenon that is becoming more apparent with time in our present society, as more and more people are reporting these visitations of lost loved ones...who visit us...even though only for moments!   A phone will ring and no one will be on the other end.  A fragrance or scent will linger around us, and we recognize it as being that of our loved one.  A bird will tap on a window.   A hawk will appear on a fence post.   A swirl of freezing cold air will surround us or brush past, and we cannot understand where it came from.  A whistle or a humming of a tune that we associate with someone we loved and lost will hover near.  A vision or a voice can be heard, although there is no one there.  The list goes on...yet, we know, beyond a shadow of doubt...that we have been visited... We search, we cry...and we wonder...Are they truly lost?

   My husband was one of those hands on grandpa's and he left quite an impression, even to this day....although the children are growing like weeds and one would wonder.... do they remember him anymore?   Our daughter-in-law and two granddaughters live in Nevada, and they were extremely close to their grandfather when he was alive.  The girls were very little when he left us, but they have reported seeing him in dreams on several occasions, and once I witnessed my seven year old grandchild get out of her bed during the night, and begin to dance around in the dark, with only the light that crept through her window... I imagined she was sleepwalking, or sleepdancing in this case, and I decided not to wake her....but I did wake my son and daughter-in-law.  We watched her dancing and speaking....from another room.   She was in deep conversation, and we heard her say, "Papa, why don't you come back home?"  Later, we heard her say, "Papa, grandmother really needs you, so please come visit her too....she's very sad."   We knew she was dancing with her Papa, and he was giving her comfort at a time in her life when she needed it most. 

   My son had told us that Gabby missed her Papa especially hard, and that she "talked" with him often.  I had him cremated, and I also was struggling with his loss, so I had a habit of taking his Urn with me whenever I traveled.  During special holidays the kids would ask if they could "borrow" Papa, and I would let them keep the Urn for a few days or  however long he was needed by the children.   I recall visiting them once and the Urn was barely visible due to the ribbons tied around the neck, and the handmade noodle necklaces and taped drawings stacked around him.  Gabby told me that she had been having trouble in school and she need her Papa to help her out.....so that was why they borowed him from me.   My son said he knew the kids missed Papa very much, and it was their way of working through his loss... I suppose some would say this was not very healthy, but at the time, I thought it was very interesting that these small children could cope better than adults.  

   The girls are now teens, and they say they barely remember what Papa looked like, except that he was like a big teddy bear...and I smile, because he certainly fit that description. The girls also tell me that they don't dream about him very often now, but that they know he is around them, because they "feel" him at the strangest times.  They told us of how a few months ago their mom was at work and a customer came in that looked just like Papa.  She was a waitress then, and she said she had to get someone else to wait his table because his presence shook her up so much.  She said, "Mom, he was identical to dad."  I just smiled, and thought...she just wishes he was dad.   Later, she mentioned that this customer began coming in often, and that he would ask for her specifically... she said, she avoided eye contact, and would wait on him...then leave quickly.  He always left a very large tip.  "Mom, I really needed that money, and it felt like the man knew it and that was why he came in....not to eat....but to leave me money." 

   A few weeks later, my daughter said she reported to personnel, and the HR employee handed her an envelope  and said, "some man left this for you."  She opened it and within the envelope was a $100 bill and a note. "The kids grandpa would love to take the girls shopping, but he isn't able to, so please spend this on them."    No signature.  She called me and told me..."Mom, I know this is from that same man that looks like dad."   Several days later, she and the girls were at a Taco restaurant and the man walked in, smiled at them, and sat at another table.   Before they finished their meal, the younger of the two girls, Gabby went to the bathroom, and when she passed his table, the man told her, "Your papa really likes those new clothes you are wearing, and he wants you to tell your sister that he likes her new shoes too."   Gabby said she just knew that her Papa was an angel....and that this strange man was simply a messenger.   She told us, "I asked him if he had given mom the money for us to go shopping, and he said....no...that was a gift from your Papa."  

   When she returned to the table where her mother and sis were, she told them what the man said, and when they looked back where he had been sitting....the table was empty!  

   Often, there is no reasonable explanation to why these divine happenings occur...but they do!   It is just as simple to believe as it is not to believe...so...given the choice....why not just enjoy the positive that these wonderful angelic messengers bring to those of us who need the visits?   It has been several months since the girls have seen this angel, and perhaps they will never see him again....it is possible...that he came when he was needed and his work has now taken him elsewhere. 

   Strange thing happened about my diamond earrings too.  It was almost two years after I lost the them, that I was cleaning and packing to move to another place, when I saw something sparkling on the floor, by the floor near the headboard of my bed.  I moved the bed, and ran my fingers along the carpet, and found one of the earrings.  I couldn't believe I'd found it....now, if I could find the other.  Again, I scooted around by the headboard, and nothing...but then.... I noticed another sparkle, and near the foot of the bed was the other earring!  The strangeness about this was not that I had found the earrings...but that I had looked in these places not once, but many times over the two years, and never had I seen a sparkle.  Also, I had moved the bed during that time, and vacuumed, and if they had been there before....why didn't they get sucked up in the cleaner?   I searched, I cried, and I found what had been lost.  Now, I value these earrings more than ever... and I value the love that I had all those years as well.... but more than that... I know that he is not lost to me, or to our family.   He will always be near, because we choose to keep him near.... and it is possible, that he will fade with time, or not be needed so much, but because we loved him so much...and because he loved us so much... he will continue to be a strength for each of us.

   I pray that you will have many visits by those you loved and lost....and more than that... I pray that you will find that peace that passeth all understanding.

linda law