Nowadays people do the strangest things, and we don't blink an eye.. Society is at the point, where nothing surprises us and the bar becomes easier to reach...except...when you get old and useless....
Have laptop and not much else... a brain that works occasionally...and sometimes the lights just dim. Can easily adapt to most climates, and passport is good thru 2012. Looks are deceiving thank goodness...can pass for 60 not 65, if you don't get too close. Everything works, most of the time...however, bending and stooping, getting up after sitting or lying down ... and...walking, running, are often challenging; altho it's done with class.
Smiling is a natural part of the mask, and good hygiene, from tip to toe has been reduced to a science... no waiting two hours to get dressed to go out .... Well, going out...that's not exactly being honest... no one ever takes me out these days...much. Although domestic chores is not a natural talent; being a neatnik comes with the package. The kitchen is a challenge, although most microwaves are easil mastered. A whiz at decorating and setting the table!
Good with people, road rage under control most of the time; reclusive and potty trained. No job, no bank account, no big book sales. Sense of humor is spontaneous and giggling can be controlled.
Anyone interested in a trial adoption? All expenses must be paid in advance; no refunds, and contract must stipulate rejection or returns must be at your expense...otherwise...you are the proud adoptive person.....
Everyone needs a grandmother. The memories and walks down memory lane are life essential to your future memoir. Everyone needs a mom.... one who does not fuss, does not criticize, does not give commands.... one who smiles and you can release your pent up wishes to be nostalgic and share.... Everyone needs a companion to go to lunch, to movies, to watch a movie and chomp on popcorn... Everyone needs a friend...to tell their troubles to, to share their hard day at work; to confide in.... Everyone needs a shopping companion, one who will tell you the truth when you insist on buying those jeans that are too tight and your tummy is bulging over.... Everyone needs a day off from work, and you can send a surrogate...me...
Price is negotiable.... almost free.... but nothing good in life is free...remember that...when they told you that the best things in life are free...it is myth!!!!
Applicants, please submit your reason why you want me....and...how soon!
Altho this was written in jest...as the holidays approach, it is sad to see how many of our seniors are lonely, without anyone to care or to check on them. No gifts, no special time, just another day in their fading lives... Hopefully, many will remember to give them a little time... afterall...they gave us so much of their time once upon a time. Thank you, lindalaw
Sounds irresistable! hee, hee..
Does this grandma babysit???
My kids cook and clean, so how about those lunches and popcorn?
Cryssa
Reviewed by 000 000
11/9/2008
Sounds good to me! I want to adopt you because you make me laugh, you are a believer, you always have a great story and like to travel. I do not have any money but I have a one legged australian Bourke parrot for trade, or a six foot tall totem pole.
CarolHawks
Linda I just love this and I am sure they are after you right now for who could resist a grandmother who will watch movies, eat popcorn and is potty trained, hell I think I'll adopt you for my daughter, she is 23 and fully potty trained too, her favorite things to do is watching movies and eating popcorn when she isn't working 12 hour shifts at work. She'd have you spoiled with flowers and gifts of love as she do me. Please continue to share with us.
Newfie Hugs, Rose
Reviewed by Donnie Madden
11/9/2008
ONLY IF YOU ARE THE GRAND MOTHER THAT IS UP FOR ADOPTION. I WOULD DO IT IN A TEXAS MINUTE...SUCH A WONDERFUL WRITTEN AND DESCRIPTIVE MEANING OF SENIOR CITIZEN THAT IS STILL USEFUL.....
YOU GO GIRL,,,, CONTINUE TO WRITE THESE BEAUTIFUL SHORT STORIES.
Humor with a mildly cutting edge is difficult to do without tipping it over into bitter snarkishness.
You accomplished it with this piece, which I enjoyed very much. Alas, though, it carries the ring of truth in our fast paced age when anything old is considered disposable.
News flash! Todays's sixty-five-year-old is now fifty.....you have a long time to go, new beau, new book, new life. Don't sell yourself short with this highly whimsical write, hang on; you will meet your Mr. Right!
Dozens of Frequently Asked Questions regarding Pathological Narcissism, relationships with abusive narcissists, and the Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
