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Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado

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Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.




     Faye Emerson tries to find some peace and joy during what is supposed to be a happy time of year. She is worried about her youngest child, four-year-old Nickolas, who has Canavan disease.

 

It may be December, with its Christmas celebration, lights, and festive atmosphere; however, I feel more like the middle of Febuary:  no joy whatsoever in my heart.

I just can't seem to get into the spirit of Christmas or what it means.  I feel more like Scrooge or perhaps the Grinch.  People say "Merry Christmas" to me; I tell them to go to you-know-where.  I have my own problems; I don't need people to be condescending towards me.

Twice my daughters Renate and Ellen asked me when I was going to put the Christmas tree up.  I told them where they could stick that Christmas tree, in no uncertain terms.  When one has a child who is chronically sick, you can't really find time to enjoy the Christmas season, let alone, anything.

I haven't had time to get the place ready for Christmas, and forget Christmas shopping.  The bills are eating us alive, and Nicholas continues to drive me crazy with his demands or his frequent sicknesses. 

I'm ready to have him committed to an institution; I am finding it harder and harder to deal with his Canavan disease adn all that goes along with it:  the tube feedings, the deteriation of his physical/mental/cognitive abilities, the diaper changes, the medications, the illnesses or hospital stays. 

It may be Christmas, but it's more of a bah-humbug for me.  How can I take a child to see Santa Claus when he can't even talk, tell Santa what he wants for Christmas?  How can he enjoy the Christmas lights when he can't even see them??  How can he sing along with the Christmas carols when he doesn't even have a voice to sing along with?

My son makes Tiny Tim, the tragic figure in Dickens' immortal tale, "A Christmas Carol", look like a normal kid, and there's nothing normal about Tiny Tim!

I am feeling more like the Grinch; I don't want to have anything to do with Christmas.  If there is anything I want for Christmas, it's for my youngest child to get out of his wheelchair and walk, or even say "I love you, Mama"!  What harm does it do in asking something like this for my son??

I don't think it's fair that he has to suffer so much in his life.  He's only four, going on five; yet we can't enjoy life like a normal family because of his special needs.  What I wouldn't give to have a son that was normal!!

~To be continued~ 

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Reviewed by Cryssa C 12/18/2008
This mother's other two children are going to grow up resenting Nicholas if she isn't more careful... that isn't fair to him. Most disabled children share their love unconditionally...which is the best gift in the world.

Cryssa
Reviewed by Mary Coe 12/15/2008
Very interesting read.
Reviewed by Carole Mathys 12/14/2008
Powerful and sad writing, Karen...
peace and love, Carole~
Reviewed by Patricia Smith 12/13/2008
WOW, Karen, I am writing this with tears streaming. I feel so badly for this poor child. I feel for any mother who has become so devistated that she can't function for her other children. I don't know who to feel the worst for, the little boy, the mother, or the other children who only wish to celebrate christmas. Very powerful, very emotional read. You really have a way of expressing your writing into visions in our heads.
I will be watching for the next part.
Hugs
Patricia
Reviewed by Michelle Kidwell Power In The Pen 12/13/2008
I can not begin to imagine what this mother is going through.
In Christ's Love
Michelle~
Reviewed by A Serviceable Villain 12/13/2008
Dear Karen,

Heart-tugging write my friend . . . as only you can tell them!!


Hugs,

Lance
Reviewed by Randall Barfield 12/13/2008
I can't imagine a bigger heartache than having a child like this one yet many families have these burdens and resulting experiences. Sometimes I'm glad I stopped at 1 child. She's "normal" in the general sense. But if I had to do it (take care of one with special needs [putting it midly], I would. Now I've got to go & look up this disease. You keep educating me!!!
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 12/13/2008
This one squeezes the heart and makes tears fall: powerfully penned sadness, Karen. What mother wants a child to suffer? Can't imagine taking care of a little one with such disability ... but there are those who do. God bless 'em!

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla. :(

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