A few years ago funnyman Dave Chappell was commenting on the thing that bothered him the most. Surprisingly, racism wasn’t the highest ranking on his list. The fact that men and women don’t get along anymore, seemed to have the most profound effect on him. He asked the women in the audience if they felt romance was dead. Cheers of affirmation were their response. Mr. Chappell’s response: “Romance is dead, and you women killed it! More cheers and applause but it wasn’t the women who were cheering, it was the men.

So why did women kill romance? Answer: identity crisis. Many women, for whatever reason, do not understand their place in society. They blame their husbands, fathers, bosses and even the fat cats on Wall Street for the demise of romance, while never accepting responsibility for their own actions. It is this blame game, victim mentality that has led not only to the battle of the sexes but destroyed the very thing women treasured the most, romance.

Did men contribute to this calamity? Of course we did, we gave women exactly what they wanted, to be more like us. Our society has become a unisex, metro sexual; one size fits all platform where it is difficult to differentiate the masculine from the feminine. The old theme song from the classic early seventies sitcom, “all the family—girls were girls and men were men” meant more to the greatest generation than it does to subsequent generations. If a man tries to be: aggressive, arrogant, opinionated or any of the qualities that define his masculinity, he is considered a chauvinist. If you apply any of these characteristics to a woman, she is considered savvy and sexy; A paradox that both sexes must accept responsibility for. 

It’s not that I’m anti-woman or pro-man, I’m not. The current financial crisis on Wall Street and Main Street was initiated and perpetuated by almost all men. My solution: lock them all up, cash in all their assets and prosecute them with the maximum penalty the law will allow. These are not men; they are liars who have no integrity. Not long ago, a firm handshake and a promise of, “you have my word on it,” meant more than any signature on a dotted line. These days you have corporate scandals, financial meltdowns and a Illinois governor who actually tried to sell president elect Barak Obama’s vacant senate seat. It is easy to understand why Americans, especially women, have lost faith in the opposite sex. The good news is, “karma” is finally catching up with the greed of Wall Street.

Does this make women better than men? Absolutely not! I’m sure there were a lot of women married to these fat cats and had information about their wrongdoings and did nothing. Turning their husbands in would mean losing their extravagant way of life. And we couldn’t have that could we? They would rather spend their greedy husband’s bonus of 50,000,000 dollars than risk going without. Money seems to be the great equalizer between men and women; it turns both sexes into monsters. I remember reading a famous quote somewhere that read: “if you ever wonder what god thinks about money, look at who he gives it to.” I believe, money and romance do not go hand in hand. But if you’re a man in this society, having money automatically means getting the girl. And there is no bigger motivator for a man then getting the girl.

So how do we bring romance back? Fortunately this is a very easy problem to solve, but in order to do it, you must go back to a time where you had no preconceived notions of the opposite sex. If you’re a man looking for the attention of a woman there is nothing better than a warm genuine smile. This is one thing you can not fake. I have found it easy to approach the opposite sex without any expectations. Some of the most memorable relationships I have had with women lasted only a few seconds. In a coffee shop or walking down the street or just a quick stare and smile meant more than words could express. It’s the little things between men and women that spark romance, not the things we think are so important.

If you are a woman looking for romance you don’t have to do much. Just your hair and fingernails would probably do the trick. I know what a lot of you are thinking: “I’ve been doing that all my life and I still can’t find a decent man.” That street runs both ways ladies, and until you realize that you will never find a good man. Both men and women need to approach romance with the innocence of children. By doing this you will never have to look, romance will find you.