January 22nd 1908I am Victoria Pinkety and this is my first diary. I am 20 years old and my family is trying to find the perfect husband for me. I am rather happy with my life as a single woman but my mother says I’d be happier married, I myself think that is pish posh I am fine single.We live on a farm about half a mile from town. Admittedly it is a small farm but it is a farm none the less. My parents have brought in many handsome young men but none of them I was interested in. This frustrates my mother she says if I do not marry soon no man will want to marry me and I will more than likely have to be a prostitute to live. I know I do not want to be a prostitute but I don’t want to be married ether why is life so hard for me.There is one coming today who is supposedly rich. I’m not sure how father met him but he says he has known him for a year or so. I’m excited at the idea of possibly being a rich woman.Maybe I will be a little kinder to this gentleman named Joshua. I will hopefully like him more than the others. A rich man hmm I wander how rich he is.I know I’m being petty. I know I shouldn’t want to be rich because a farmers life I’m used to. Still there is the curiosity of what it would be like to have all the things I could ever want and need.
January 25th 1908
Joshua seems like a kind man. We have gone on a few dates. I do like him but not for his money like I at first thought I would only like him for, but for his personality as well.
He is very handsome. Let me describe to you my dearest diary what he looks like. He has blond hair green eyes and is muscular built plus he is tall but not to tall, he has large hands compared to my fathers and they look strong.
He will be leaving town on some business trip soon. He has said to me “ I do hope no other guy catches your fancy. I want you to know I care for you deeply. You just might make a pretty good wife for a man like myself.”
Oh dear diary I love Joshua. Is it to fast for me to love the man? I wont tell him I love him not until he says it first.
It may take awhile but I am sure I can make him love me. No other man will ever take my fancy. He is the one for me.
March 3rd 1908
Joshua has finally said it. He finally told me he loves me. I’ve worked hard at being a good girl and not giving in to my desires when he said he loved me.
I told him I love him to. He also proposed to me. Oh lord I’m so happy I’m about to cry.
Mother and Father are thrilled that there only child is going to be married. Joshua and I haven’t set the date yet but mother is already making me a wedding dress. She has bought expensive cloth to make it with I know I will look beautiful thanks to her.
Joshua must leave on another business trip though. He will be back next month. I shall miss spending most of my time with him.
April 20th 1908
Joshua has changed a little it seems to me. We are to be married in five days from now. The reason I say Joshua has changed is because he just gets angry at me for no reason.
Mother and Father seem to think he has cold feet as you say. I am betting that’s what it is to. Well as for other things the dress is ready so I am very happy.
I must confide in you dearest diary something I can not tell a soul. Joshua and I made love the night of his return home from his business trip. I love him so much I just had to show him how I felt.
Strangely enough as we lay afterwards in his bed I felt as if someone was watching us. As if someone was in the room with us. I looked around but there was no one there.
April 25th 1908
I am now a married woman. I am Victoria Monsoon instead of Victoria Pinkety. The wedding was perfect all my aunts and uncles were there. He had his father and mother there. They are all the family he has so you know.
I was so giddy and wanted it to hurry up to the I do parts. Looking in Joshua’s eyes I saw a strangeness I’ve never seen in them before. Like a crazy persons eyes.
Now I know I Must have been imagining things. I had to be for Joshua is definitely not crazy. Oh I’m so happy that I am married to him.
May 1 1908
The honeymoon is most definitely over. Joshua is increasingly violent towards me. It seems like anything I say or do he becomes angry about.
He often hits me. One night he beat me badly with his belt. Our servant Jacob was the one to take care of me afterwards. Joshua had hurt me so badly I couldn’t do much of anything but lay in bed for days.
Jacob was constantly at my side after the beating and constantly making sure I am all right. I wonder if he has feelings for me. Now that I’m well again Joshua acts as if it never happened. I am very angry with him with good reason.
May 8th 1908
Last night Joshua raped me. I was angry still from him beating me like that and had refused to make love to him when he came to me for it. So he pinned me on the bed and forced me.
I don’t know what to do. I’m afraid of my husband. The man who is supposed to love and care for me hurts me daily.
I have grown quit found of Jacob because when Joshua left my room and he heard me crying he came right in. He rapped me in his arms and said, “It will be all right.” Strangely I noticed his skin being so cold but I didn’t care.
May 18th 1908
My husband is sick. The doctors say he has lost much blood but are not sure how. I cant believe I’m thinking this or writing this but I hope Joshua dies.
Joshua keeps saying something about Jacob but I don’t understand it’s a bunch of mixed up words. The doctor believes he has also had a head injury. I act like the scared wife but I really don’t care.
June 8th 1908
It is a warm day and Jacob and I are now having an affair. Joshua is still sick though he has gained some strength back he still acts out of his head. The doctors have said if he tries to hurt me or anyone else call the sheriff and they will take him to the mental hospital.
I have also just found out I am with child. I know it is Jacobs I can feel it. Joshua is calling me so I must go now.
June 13th 1908
Joshua attacked me yesterday saying something that if I bare this child I will die. I do not know how he knows I am with child I am not really showing yet and I haven’t told him. Jacob had to restrain him as I called for the sheriff. They have taken Joshua to the mental hospital. A doctor examined me when I had told the sheriff I am with child and was worried that the child I carry was hurt. I don’t think I even had to tell the sheriff I’m with child because I’m showing now. Its odd because about a half hour ago before the sheriff came I was not yet showing.
I’m free thank you God. The child in my belly is growing fast I’m as big as if I were 9 months pregnant already. Jacob has told me something that frightens me but just might explain why all of a sudden I am huge as if 9 months pregnant when as I stated before that a half hour ago I wasn’t even showing yet.
Jacob has said he is a vampire. He says that the child is killing me for it is draining my life source that is why it grows so fast. He says the child will be a girl and will look just like me.
He told me she will grow fast until she is adult size. Then she will look exactly like me and no one will know of my death he will make sure of it. I feel the labor pains coming on. Oh God help me!
June 13th 1908 late night
I bore a child no more than three hours ago and the child looks like a teenager already she stays by my side her hand on my stomach. Although I am writing these things she doesn’t care or I think she doesn’t because if she did wouldn’t she take the diary from me? She really is sucking the life force out of me. Jacob has told her to use her powers and I will die. I can feel the coldness of death already. My daughter she is because she is growing quickly and I see she looks just like me.
I am afraid. Lord please forgive me for my sins. Oh it is so dark I can write no more but goodbye to you dearest diary and goodbye my daughter who I love and forgive for killing me because you were only doing as your father told you to do.
