Ingrid Schoenfeldter is having a hard time trying to enjoy the Christmas season: she just lost her father last month.
Ingrid Schoenfeldter here. Sorry for not writing; just haven't had the heart to do so.
The pain of my father's passing is still too fresh, too raw: any mere mention of his name, every thought, every odour, etc., just reminds me of him, and I completely go to pieces.
Thank God I have my family, my friends; however, it isn't the same. Father loved Christmas; he'd go out of his way to ensure that we kids had a great one. Even when grown, he made Christmas. He'd be the one to fell a tree for our livingroom, pretend he was St. Nicholas, deliver presents to us kids. He loved to cook, loved good times with company.
Now he's gone; suddenly, Christmas doesn't seem like Christmas anymore, and it breaks my heart!
Since Father's passing, my health, as a whole, has suffered. I've fallen more, have had to resort to using crutches for walking, or, for longer trips, my wheelchair. It's scaring me; I'm scared I am going to get worse or even die! I am only fifty; I should have my whole life ahead of me, not thinking about death!!
My family and friends have tried to be supportive of me; still, it's difficult at best. I haven't skiied since I took ill, and I miss it so much! I am not ready to give up my skiing, my running!!
I'm not ready to have to use my crutches or my wheelchair; people will then know I'm sick, and I am not ready to face the world like this!!!!
I haven't felt like celebrating Christmas. I haven't gone shopping, haven't done my cards, decorated the house, nothing! I've been too upset! I'd just as soon forget all about Christmas! I don't need any Christmas right now!
Well, I've managed to make myself cry yet again, so I will go now; can't see for all the tears falling from my eyes! Take care and say a prayer for me!
Its our first year without Kim, our second without Melissa, and our fifth without Nonna and the pain will always be there but there love for Christmas lives on through me
In Christs Love
Michelle~
Sad but with a ring of truth to this one as I know you still freshly grief the loss of your own Dear Fathter. I can tell you that although you will always miss a parent over the years the pain of their passing is surpassed by the memories they left you.
Grief is such a lonely and individual thing. It affects different people in different ways. I would like to tell Ingrid that--on behalf of her father and his memory--she should do all the things she did when he was alive and remember the joy they shared. She needs a reason, and that would be a good one. Nice "but sad" write, Karen.
Karen, Such a sad tale. Brilliantly written as always. I hope for everyone who has lost a love one this year that they hold that person in their hearts and celebrate christmas with all the happiness that their love ones have shown thruough out the years. I hope they can find it in them selves to not go into a shell, but to celebrate the sprit and memories of lost ones past. As, long as we hold in our hearts the love we shared, the smiles, the laughter, the memories, and share it with others, our love ones will always be immortal. I'm sure as they decorate the great tree in heaven, they are waiting for us to put our special ornament upon it. So to everyone, be blessed, hold tight to your memories and rejoice in the love you hold in your hearts.
Merry Christmas To All
Patricia J Smith
http://www.freewebs.com/blessedbeps
A few daughters this coming Christmas will be longing for their Dad, the sense of lost and emptiness coming into the Christmas season is more painful than ever, then, it is the time to remember all the good things that make them to love Dad, because their love can't be obscured by sadness.
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