2 January, 2009, Ivalo, Finland~

Dear Journal~

Terve!  Miita kuuluu?  Kiitos hyvaa! 

Sari Annike here.  A tired, very sore Sari here.  I am recovering from my C-section of last 3 December, 2008, where I had our third child (and our second daughter), Ilsa Magdelina.  She will be one month old tomorrow. 

I am still rather sore, and at times, I've been crying my eyes out.  Think I'm suffering from post-partum depression.  Doctor says it is normal, but I'm not so sure; I should be enjoying my new baby, not crying my eyes out! 

If I don't stop crying so much, the weather service is going to have to call a flood warning!  I will melt all the snow with all the tears I've cried lately!

Doesn't help that I am still dealing with my fibromyalgia, multiple sclerosis, other health issues.  Some days it is all I can do to keep from getting out of bed; often Nik has to play house-husband, so I can get my rest when my body betrays me.

Nik and the children are fine.  I think they've recovered from Christmas.  The children got lots of new playtoys, clothes, money from loving aunts, uncles, grandparents (Nik's parents), friends.  Nik got a new HD television set; as for me, I got a new crib, furniture for our baby girl.  It was a nice Christmas.

Got many beautiful cards from friends, even pictures.  Must be nice to travel; my friend Hientze from Germany sent me pictures from when he went on African safari in October; made me think back to when we were in Africa several years ago.  Another friend, Taavu, went on a cruise to Spain; he got food poisoning, spent some time in hospital, but thankfully he recovered.

I'd love to travel again, but husband and kids keep me grounded, as does my (unpredictable) health:  I never know what my body will do from one day to the next. 

Today, as an example, besides the depression, I had to use my wheelchair; felt weak, wobbly.  Tomorrow I may need just my crutches, perhaps, only my cane.  Or I might continue to need the chair, plus have visual disturbances, dizziness.  It's crazy, this MS!!  I HATE it!!

Heard from my friend, Mattaq, in Alaska: tragically, his sister, Sikik, died back in October; she died of her MS.  She had the swift, fatal kind.  No wonder I hadn't heard from her; when I heard she'd died, I cried.  I am really going to miss Sikik!!

She was far too young; not even forty five.  Sad!!

I pray I don't have the MS she had; so far, it's been behaving itself, but you never know what may happen.  That's what makes having MS so hard to live with!  I pray I live another day, another month, another year!!

Any day I wake up breathing is a good day, even when my body tells me otherwise.  :P

It is fairly mild here, snow melting (and not from my tears, either!!).  Even had thunderstorms the other night; lightning woke up Birtta, who cried; she ended up having to sleep between her daddy and me.  She does not like thunderstorms. 

Neither do I; they are too noisy, especially in the middle of the night, when you're trying to sleep!!  I HATE being awakened in the middle of the night by weather!!

The auroras have been active; nothing new there.  There's something calming about seeing the ribbons of colour dancing in the Arctic skies; I like to think that my parents are among the lights, dancing, looking down at me.

Somehow, that's very comforting to me.  Now Sikik is with the lights, too, and I can think of her, remember, smile.

Well, I am going to go; it's very late here; time for me to go to bed, or I won't be worth anything tomorrow!  I want to be at my best for when my children wake up; they need me!  Take care, and may God bless you always!  Until later, this is Sari saying Nakemiin!

~Love, your friend in Finland, Sari Annike.  :)