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Jack Kuperman

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How to renovate home
by Jack Kuperman
Monday, February 2, 2009

Rated "G" by the Author.

       
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           >> View all 129


     Renovation isn't just come and do. You have think a lot before you decide to go through it.

 

Yes. You are right.

It definitely needs to be rearranged.

And maybe total renovation is even better.

You make all the necessary calculations through Excel and come to conclusion that it is possible.

The money is enough for all things you want to change and insert.

And time is suitable - If they begin now or even next month, September, until January there is no reason that you won't invite all your friends to your birthday in "new" home.

So, just find a contractor who will agree to the price and time and begin to work.

.

It was easy.

Everything you asked, he knows to do.

The price and the schedule are as you wanted.

So let him begin to work.

.

At 5 am, some noise awakes you.

You look through the window and see a big lorry under your window and five workers throw different equipment on the street.

You run to the door and ask them to do it quieter.

But they don't hear you.

.

At 12pm the contractor comes.

All the workers raise to greet him, not leaving cans of beer from their hands.

.

At 12:03pm, they leave until tomorrow.

.

The next day, at 5:00am you are on your feet, because you bed is outside the room and the workers begin to take the floor out.

.

Two months later, the workers come and take out the rest of the floor in your room.

.

In January, you are still sleeping in the corridor - the only place with floor.

.

In June, the workers put your bed back into the room and open a pack of bears to celebrate the quick finish of the work in this room.

Next day they take the bed out and take out some flooring.

Next week they return everything back, after the Electricity cables were put in place.

.

In October, the contractor comes to your room as usual without knocking:

-You know, the piping is rusty.

-What piping?

-Water supply.

-Why do you put a rusty piping?

-It is not mine. It was here.

-Then why did you not change it?

-You did not say.

-What?

-You did not say.

-We agreed that you would change everything.

-Yes, but we did not speak about the piping.

After 2 minutes of beetle browed sighting each other:

-And how much will it cost to change that?

-If you'd say it in time, before I put the flooring…

-When did you put the flooring?

-Tomorrow.

-Then you did not put it yet!

-For me it is as if I already have put.

-Why? Are you on drugs?

-Yes, as the matter of fact. And if you already mentioned it, would you like a joint too?

-Please, return to the matter in hand.

After long glance on his hands:

-I don't understand you.

-Well, how much it will cost NOW?

-I dunno. I have to think. I will say you tomorrow.

-Wait. Are you going home now?

-Yes. What the problem?

-But you have just come ten minutes ago!

-So? Sometimes I don't feel like working. Like today.

-And tomorrow?

-I will know that tomorrow, will I not?

.

.

Three months later.

-Well, maybe tomorrow I will feel like working.

.

.

You go to celebrate your birthday at your parents' home.

.

Soon later (August) they succeed to finish the job.

.

In October, they REALLY finish the job.

.

Two years later, you finish paying for the renovation.

And then, as you are married now, you decide to change home to some bigger one.

You cannot buy a new, so you go for second-hand house.

And you find a good one and rather cheap.

The only drawback, that it needs renovation..

 

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