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Jack Kuperman

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How to ride bicycle (3)
by Jack Kuperman
Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Rated "G" by the Author.

       
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     the third and the last

The new day.

 

The new hope.

 

Hope that today you will begin to ride.

 

You take all the blankets and pillows you have at home, quickly take your bicycle out (just 2 minutes of jumping on it, getting down between the bicycle and the door, pushing it back, opening the door, going out and pulling it out).

 

And see the staircase.

 

You have to do the reverse exercise of yesterday's taking the bike up.

 

You shrug in disgust and think about giving up and returning home. (Especially as you hear the voice of your pajamas, calling from the sleeping room, asking you to warm them.)

 

Suddenly an idea falls on you.

 

You bend your head because this blow hurts but succeed to catch the idea.

 

You go to the lift.

 

Open the door, push G button, insert the bike in standing position and close the door.

 

You begin to run down to be there before the lift.

 

But when you reach the last step, you see that the lift isn't here.

 

Not here?

 

Where is it?

 

Scrubbing the head doesn't help to find the answer and you begin coming up.

 

Not on the second floor, not on the third.

 

It is your floor.

 

Yes. Here it is. The lift is still here.

 

You open the door and try to press the G button once more, but the bike stays on your way.

 

You are used now to maneuvering the bicycle, so out it goes, G is pushed, very hard this time and the bike goes back.

 

The door closes, you make sure that the lift is going down, and begin to run down.

 

Success!

 

You go out to the street.

 

The sun is just lazily rising into the sky, licking the last morning dew.

 

A few pedestrians in the street pass you quickly shivering from cold.

 

However, you feel hot.

 

Descending with bicycle was very good warming exercise.

 

You go to the park, dragging the bike behind you.

 

It kicks you and tries to raise the rear wheel in air.

 

So, you try to push it from behind and find yourself entering into the wall.

 

Cleverly, you decide to take it in your hands over your head and in this way run to the park.

 

Pedestrians, who did not seem to notice you before, look at you with very vivid interest.

 

You reach the park and go to its center.

 

Less people mean less potential victims.

 

You begin to tie blanket around your body. Then take chalk and put a straight line on the walk.

 

Then put pillows on both sides of this line.

 

Sit onto the bicycle.

 

Raise yourself from the ground and sit onto bicycle.

 

This time you raise yourself, but put bicycle in diagonal position and try to sit on it.

 

You succeed. So now, you begin to straighten the bike.

 

But it does not stay vertical. It goes further to horizontal.

 

You shake the dust from you trousers, stand up once more and jump on the bike.

 

Ouch. You can kill all your ancestry this way.

 

You cannot speak so you swear in your head.

 

When you feel you can stay, you try a new approach.

 

You go near the tree, lean the bike on the trunk and rise onto the seat.

 

You are immediately reminded of your jump a little ago, so you do not move for some time until the pain vanishes.

 

You begin to move.

 

Wow! You ride!

 

Well, not this time!

 

You fall.

 

On the place 3" out of pillow that you thoughtfully put in advance for this case.

 

You rise, move the pillow to the new place and try once more.

 

This time you really ride.

 

The problem, that the tree stops you and then you find that going down headfirst is not the best way to get down from the bike.

 

You decide that you are fed up for today.

 

Just last time and that's it.

 

You put the bike against the tree and rise yourself up.

 

You hear barking behind you.

 

In the corner of your eye, you see a monstrous dog running in your direction.

 

You feel your legs begin to move.

 

Quicker and quicker..

 

Two minutes later, you reach your home and the dog is far back.

 

You promise to yourself to learn to ride tomorrow.

 

But then, very slowly you begin to understand that you didn't run home.

 

You rode. RODE!

 

You know how to ride now!

 

Would you believe it?

 

Just in one lesson?

 

Then you see the dog from the park is here.

 

You begin to sweat.

 

But wait!

 

It is just a Cocker Spaniel with some doll in his mouth.

 

From far it seemed like monstrous dog, but it's just a puppy.

 

You laugh, glad that you learned so quickly to ride.

 

.

 

Why are you so surprised?

 

We promised to teach you to ride, didn't we?

 

So, just tell others about our easy lessons, will you?

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Reviewed by Georg Mateos 2/19/2009
Oh Jack! I never knew that ideas come with a punch, I will advice you of not heavy thinking or you will knock-out yourself.
Now, I concur that less people in the streets is the best solution to move down the statistic of pedestrians mowed down by cars, yes, less people less accidents, why we didn't thought of it before?
To your "ride a bike lessons" better go and warm those pajamas! ! !
You left out tandem-bikes with one in front doing all the job.

Georg


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