Sage Rainbow here.  I hope this finds you well; as for me, I'm not worth a can of beans!  I am still in grief mode; I still can't believe that my best friend, Ashley, is gone!!

The funeral for my best friend was just this past week.  It was horrible; I hated having to say good bye to her!  The worst was when she was put into the ground; I wanted to fall into the grave right along with her!!

I still can't face her family:  I am at a loss as to how to act around them, what to say.  My mind is as empty as my heart; the only thing I feel now (besides numbing pain) is shock and above all, anger.

The guy who hit her while she was crossing the street remains at large.  Police are still hunting for him.  The only lead they have is the fact that he was driving a burgundy 1988 Cadillac DeVille, and the fact that he was drunk behind the wheel.  He had to have been if he didn't see her as she was crossing the street, for God's sake!!

I bet when (and if they ever do find the jerk), he'll get a slap on the wrist.  That's what they always seem to do to drunk drivers.  My best friend is dead because some idiot decides to get soused before getting behind the wheel, and then leaves the scene after he mortally wounded her!!  I am so angry at God right now I can't hardly think, let alone, see straight!!

How could a loving God allow this to happen?  Why her??  Why me??  Ashley Ketch didn't deserve to have her life snuffed out at seventeen years of age; she had her whole life ahead of her!!  Now she's gone, and I don't know what to do!!

Is this how He's supposed to act??  Why couldn't He have stopped this from happening, protect her from getting injured like she did??  Why did I have to be the one who was left behind??

It's bad enough I lost my parents (I now live with my aunt and uncle; I know they love me and all, but it's not the same!!); did I have to lose my best friend, too, on top of it??

Doesn't God even give a rip about me??  Am I that bad of a Christian that He has to take my best friend away from me??

At school, the kids don't know what to say to me.  They know I've lost my best friend; they tend to stay away from me, ignore me, like I'm some piece of paper or invisible.  At this point, I don't even care.  My life is forever changed, and I'm having a very hard time dealing with it!!

Just keep me in your prayers; it seems all I've done ever since this happened is cry!  I've cried so much it's a wonder I have any tears left!!

I can't write anymore.  Too broken up.  I hope you understand!

~Sage.  :( >tears!<