Alex stepped out of his Mustang and, scanning the parking lot to make sure no one was looking, tugged on his bright green tights. Lena had promised to make tonight’s Halloween party up to him with a home-cooked, gourmet meal next week. At this moment he felt like she’d struck the better deal. Tonight’s humiliation would top every other humiliation he’d experienced, even the time he’d peed his pants on the Ferris wheel when he was four. Still, the party was important to Lena. It was his own fault for not asking what they’d be wearing until she’d already sewn this stupid getup.

 

“Aren’t you going to open the door pour moi, Kermie?” Lena asked in her high-pitched, Miss Piggy voice.

 

“Sure.”

 

He did try to talk her and her friends out of choosing kids’ TV show characters as a party theme, but they were too excited about the idea to be swayed. Alex grabbed the paper bag containing a small bottle of Ballantine’s, the only size he could afford. He didn’t indulge often, but this occasion called for mind-numbing Scotch.

 

Alex opened the door and took Lena’s extended hand. Long, lavender gloves covered most of her arms. Rhinestone bracelets circled both wrists.

 

“How do I look?” She swept her hand down the front of her gown. “Are my ears on straight?”

 

Alex looked at the satin, pig ears attached to a sequined hair band. He noticed that she hadn’t fastened a snout to her face. “You look good.”

 

Glowing, in fact. Lena was playing the diva she’d dreamed of being, which was why he knew this idiotic frog costume wasn’t created to embarrass him. She could have left out some of the stomach padding, though. And why he had to wear green slippers instead of ordinary running shoes, he’d never know. Who cared about feet?

 

“Come on,” Lena said. “We’re late.”

 

While they walked towards Simon Fraser University’s stu-dent-resident complex, music and laughter came from several apartments. Six years had passed since he’d graduated from commerce and economics on this campus. What he most remembered were the parties. Lots of good times. But at twenty-eight, he sometimes felt ages older than twenty-year-old Lena and her friends.

 

Among the trees were clusters of townhouses occupied by apparent Halloween worshippers. Bats and ghosts decorated windows. Glowing jack-o-lanterns guarded front doors. Skeletons and grisly, beheaded creatures hung from trees.

 

In front of one of the few unadorned windows, Lena pointed to a guy typing at a computer screen. “Some people just don’t know how to have fun.”

 

Alex envied the guy. “Maybe he wants to work now so he can party later.”

 

“Speaking of work, have you given any more thought to taking the systems-analyst job with McKinleys’ Department Store?”

 

Crap. Third time this week she’d brought it up. “No, and I thought Halloween was about fun, not work.”

 

“I’ve been worried about you,” she replied. “You’ve been between temp assignments awhile, and I’ve seen that growing stack of bills on your desk.”

 

Alex frowned. He didn’t need reminding.

 

“Ever since Carl froze the store’s computers and quit,” she added, “the McKinleys have been desperate to hire another analyst.”

 

“Why? You said Carl’s predecessor fixed things. There’s been no hacking since then, right?”

 

“No, but our lousy system’s been crashing for ages. Carl helped, but now that he’s gone things are worse again. Anyway, the McKinleys finally realized they should have decent security installed, and you’re the perfect geek for the job.” Lena giggled. “You know I mean that in a nice way, don’t ya?”

 

“Yep.”

 

“And I’d be your secretary.” She put her arm around him. “We’d make a great team.”

 

A knot formed in Alex’s stomach. Lena was fun to be with, most of the time, but he couldn’t stand the thought of working with her. Besides, retail wasn’t his idea of a stimulating environment. Nailing a smart-assed punk for virtual vandalism would be cool, though. Still, the cons outweighed the pros.

 

“I thought you were tired of freelance work,” she said.

 

He was, but good hi-tech jobs were hard to find. Ever since Revenue Canada, or Canada Revenue Agency as it now called itself, fired him eighteen months ago, he’d been trying to live on temp work until something interesting came along.

 

“Face it, you need the bucks, Alex,” she said. “Christmas isn’t far away.”

 

“But the job’s only temporary.”

 

“Where’d you get that idea?”

 

“Les Silby told me about the systems-analyst assignment a few days ago.”

 

“How does he know about it?”

 

“Silby & Morrow prepare financial statements for some of the local McKinley stores. Maybe all of them, I’m not sure.”

 

Silby took his CA designation seriously, and never divulged much about his clients. He had mentioned that he knew the McKinley VPs well, though. Alex figured Silby did their personal tax returns too.

 

Alex first met Silby just before Revenue Canada gave him the boot. Since then, Silby regularly recommended Alex’s accounting and computer services to Silby & Morrow’s clients. Alex had never understood why. He knew Silby didn’t like him, and even though they were both CAs, they had little in common. Still, even Silby couldn’t deny that he worked hard for a reasonable price.

 

“You’d enjoy working with Oscar.” Lena squeezed his arm. “He’s mega-great. Best accountant the store’s had in a long time.”

 

“I met that mega-great guy at your company picnic last July, remember? He spilled a drink over my pants. Didn’t even offer to pay for dry cleaning.”

 

“Oscar makes lousy first impressions, but he really is nice.”

 

Alex had his doubts.

 

“It’s been three weeks since Carl quit,” Lena said. “The McKinleys are getting antsy.”

 

Alex didn’t want to admit that the sudden resignation of the department store’s latest analyst had intrigued him. According to Lena, the man’s tumultuous relationship with Oscar reached the breaking point when a vice-president told Carl to assist Oscar with certain tasks. Two days later, Carl reset passwords for all user accounts so no one could access their terminal. He then walked out on his employers.

 

Lena sauntered up to a partially open door and adjusted her fake blonde locks. “Ready, Kermie?”

 

“No.” He tugged on his tights again.

 

“You look adorable.” Lena adjusted his tight-fitting green cap and collar of felt triangles. “You should have let me shave your eyebrows.”

 

“A man’s got to draw the line somewhere.”

 

“Hey, I know it’s not easy being green, but cheer up, honey-bun. If we win the prize for best costume, I’ll give you a kiss and turn you back into a prince.”

 

“Better be one hell of a kiss.”

 

She stroked his green cheek. “Thanks for doing this.”

 

“Well, I know how much you love Halloween.”

 

“It’s more than that. This is our first Halloween together. Call me a crazy romantic, but I want it to be memorable.”

 

Alex grimaced. It would be memorable all right.

 

“That you, Lena?” a woman said from behind them.

 

“It’s Miss Piggy, dahling.” She turned and blew kisses at Mickey and Minnie Mouse.

 

“You two look fabulous!” As Minnie squealed, Alex tried not to wince.

 

He glared at Mickey, who had the gall to stand there in short, baggy pants, laughing at him.

 

Lena pushed the door open further and stepped inside, raising her hands. “Hello, dahlings!”

 

The moment the crowd got a look at Alex, laughter and choruses of “Rebbit! Rebbit!” shredded what remained of his dignity.

 

“Your frog’s so cute,” a female Winnie-the-Pooh said as she held hands with a beer-chugging Christopher Robin.

 

“I know. I made him,” Lena replied, gliding into the room.

 

Alex shuffled behind, gripping his paper bag and wondering how much he’d have to drink before the suicidal thoughts went away.

 

A guy sporting a tool belt and hardhat gaped at Alex. “You poor bastard,” the guy said.

 

Alex stared at his costume. “Who are you supposed to be?”

 

“Bob the Builder.”

 

“That’s a kids’ show?”

 

“Yep.”

 

“Great. Wish someone had told me.”

 

“Could’ve been worse. You could have been SpongeBob SquarePants.”

 

Alex gritted his teeth and jostled his way past Sylvester, Tweety, Road Runner, and Wile E. Coyote. Women shrieked with delight and applauded his costume. The guys gave him pitying looks.

 

Finally, he reached a quiet spot on the other side of the room. He was hoping the worst was over when Lena grabbed his arm. “Say cheese, dahling!”

 

A camera flash blinded him. Alex flinched. There was another flash, then another. Soon he couldn’t see anything but big red dots.

 

“What a hoot!” Lena beamed. “Isn’t this awesome?”

 

“Rebbit.” Alex removed his Ballantine’s from the bag, twisted off the top, and gulped down the only good time he was likely to have this Halloween.