Did you think you know how to prepare an egg? Check out if your knowledge isn't outdated.
/ This is teacher's monologue./
Let us assume that you are alone at your home.
You don't need to assume?
You ARE alone.
The wife and the children went to a holiday away without you.
What happened?
Yes, I know that this is "How to prepare scrambled eggs", but I am curious to know what happened.
Well, as you wish.
Then do not tell me about yourself.
However, do not think that I will tell you about myself.
You are not interested to hear about me?
What impudence!
How dare you speak this language to me!
And I won't stop it!
Do not shut my mouth! I am not your wife.
Worse?!
How dare you! There is nothing worse!
Well, I did not mean it this way.
Please let me stay here.
Pleeeease!
Thank you.
Now, where were we?
I know 'in the kitchen', but why?
No, I already wrote the "How to prepare scrambled eggs."
I am just trying to explain it to you but you interfere with me all the time.
So, let us scramble.
Bring the eggs.
What do you mean you have no eggs?
I understand that you do not have chickens in the house.
I just assumed that for the lesson about preparing scrambled eggs you would have some fresh eggs in the fridge.
No, scrambled eggs' basic component are eggs, not scrambling.
It doesn't matter that they call it scrambled eggs. You begin with eggs and then with scrambling.
No, you don't call it egged scrambles. It's bad English. It is even bad American.
Yes, yes, go then and bring some eggs from the neighbor.
And meanwhile I will look around.
.
You were quick.
I heard her. She sounds good.
I thought you would take more time.
Obviously that you went only for eggs.
I like determined men.
But you are too determined about learning.
I see. Not learning, just hungry.
Yes, yes I will explain quicker.
Do not shout at me. I am not to blame if you forget your eggs.
Now, wash eggs.
No, not with soap.
And wait!
I didn't think I'd have to tell you this, but Do Not Throw Eggs.
Not all of them like this.
Now, just move this white and yellow substance into the sink.
Well, wash another one, maybe?
Thank you.
Now, bring a glass.
How do I know what glasses you have?
No, not for champagne, for Cognac neither. Yes for water will be good.
This is for water?
And where do you drink from?
Well, if you drink through this straw then how do you put water in?
Stop, stop! I don't want to hear it.
Just bring a plain glass!
Then go to your neighbor and get one.
.
I thought it will be quick once more, but you learn.
.
Can I get down from the table?
You won't beat me any more?
Yes, I agree not to mention your neighbor.
Even not to your wife?
.
Please take me down from this chandelier.
No, I do not remember how I got there.
Thank you.
Please, stop beating your teacher.
I do not mean anything bad.
Just nose poking a bit.
Did anybody die from it ever?
What a fuss!
All I wanted to know whether you will return to this neighbor after eggs.
.
Please let me back.
I will behave.
Promise.
Are you not hungry already?
Then prepare a sandwich.
Scrambled eggs?
Sorry.
Maybe tomorrow?
Thank you. Then Tomorrow.
All the time you are not allergic to the storry, it's o.k.
As your understanding of matters in the story, I see you are against many more surprises.
Be prepared. Come to read with full stomach, because it takes time to prepare an omelete (or even scrambled eggs outside France).
OMG! I died of hunger while the man keep talking and talking and talking about food! Well, you can't make an omelet (scrambled eggs) without broken a few eggs (the man didn't said where to put the empty shells, and we are not going to ask, are we? that man can be rude!)
Oh! I forgot, I am allergic to eggs, ain't that funny?
Deputy Dave Jenkins sets out to find the murderer of the local high school principal, aided by a voice from the grave that is sometimes helpful and sometimes misleading.
"Murder isn't usually this funny."
Amazon reviewer
