It was the Fourth of July when I met her on the internet.  I remember it was the Fourth because the first moment we chatted she set fireworks off in my heart. 

She had made the first move, and I was happy to let her.

Her name does not matter.

From the instant messenger chats we had over the first few days, and the emails that we exchanged, I knew we both felt something special.

After about a week, I decided to write her an alphabet based on our relationship.  That day, I wrote from A – G, one letter for each day we had known each other.

A is for the Always on my mind;

B is for the Beauty in your soul;

C is for the Caress for which I long;

D is for the Desire in my heart;

E is for the Enchanting way you speak;

F is for the Feelings you invoke;

G is for the Good times yet to come;

Each night after that I would add the next letter and send it to her.

H is for the Hope that lies within me;

I is for the Inspiration that you give;

J is for the John whose heart you hold;

K is for the Kisses that you promise;

She loved receiving them.  I know she did because she told me so.

L is for the Longing that that I feel;

M is for the Moments that are cherished;

N is for the Nearness that I seek;

O is for the Only one I dream of;

We chatted daily and grew closer day by day.

P is for the Passion deep inside;

Q is for the Quirky way we met;

R is for the Rhapsody in my heart;

S is for the Sexiness about you;

Then something strange happened.

She came online very early in the morning of the letter “T.”  It was a brief, sweet chat.

The last words she posted were “luv ya.” 

She did not come back online later that day, but I did my letter as usual and emailed it to her.

T is for the great Times yet to come;

The next day she still did not instant message me but I did my letter and emailed it.

U is for the Uniquely special person;

I was getting rather concerned because I knew she was going through some difficult times with her health. 

I did not have her phone number or address, and she lived clear across the country, or at least that is what she had led me to believe.  I only knew her brother’s full name, and city, where she said she was staying.

V is for the Voice I long to hear;

I decided to send her, via regular mail, a card and a couple special mementos.

The first item was a silver heart I bought for her to keep in her pocket, because in our chats, she referred to keeping my heart in her jean jacket breast pocket.  Sounds somewhat silly now when I say it – oh well, I guess you had to be there.

The second item was a religious gold medal.  I had worn that medal for well over twenty years.  It had been blessed by the previous Pope and I felt it would help give her strength.

“When I find myself in times of trouble

Mother Mary comes to me

Speaking words of wisdom let it be.

And in my hour of darkness

She is standing right in front of me

Speaking words of wisdom let it be.” 
 (lyrics from Let It Be by the Beatles)

The only problem was I made an assumption on the mailing address. 

Do not ask – it is a long, strange story.  I do not even know if she ever received it.

W is for the Warmth you make me feel;

She reappeared the morning of the letter “X,” chatted with me for several seconds and left saying she would be right back.

X is for the “X” you placed on my heart;

But she did not come back that day.

Y is for the Yearning you create within me;

She reappeared the following day, stated to everyone in the chat room, but not to me directly, that it had all been just a game for her, and she did not want me to “bother” her again.

Then she was gone!

I will never know what happened between “luv ya” and her return, but we missed a perfect ending by one day – “Z.”

Z is for the Zero you now hold in my heart.

We never spoke again.

**********************

I composed this to her but she never saw it:

Will you miss me now that I am gone?

Will you think about what might have been?

Will you ever shed a tear?

Will you wish I were still near?

Or was I but an angel when you needed me here?

**********************

Copyright John Peter Davis 2008 

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