Tomorrow we are going to the lake for a weekend. We will sleep outside, so today I borrowed a tent for six from Jim. Jim never wraps it up, so I called the family to do this before we put it into the car.
After half an hour, we succeeded and I sat to rest on it. My son Herbert sat to the left. My wife Rose went home to prepare some coffee.
I thought that it would be hard to pack the tent again when we will leave the lake, but decided to think about more pleasant things. For example about our karaoke evening. I decided to recheck that my daughter prepared the songs:
-Jane, did you find the songs for the evening?
But she didn't answer.
-Janet? Where are you?
Herbert looked at me but only shrugged.
-Rose! Is Jane there?
-What darling?
-I say, is Jane at home?
-No.
-Then where is she?
We started to look for her everywhere.
But only when we stopped in desperation, we saw that the tent moves. Quicker than lightning, we unpacked it, and sure, here was Jane, tears all over her face and fists beating the tent.
-Mmmm!
-But Jane, why did you enter there?
-*x*x*! (Sure, you do not want to hear what a teenager has as an answer.)
-Jane, I thought that you, as elder sister would look after Herbert, but it seems that he has to look after you.
After half an hour, Rose succeeded to persuade Jane to open the door to the toilet, and five minutes later, after some really "nice" words for her father, she went out.
-I do not speak with you!
It blew me without any surprise.
We continued to prepare for tomorrow.
-Jane, why do you need the whole suitcase for two days?
-I do not speak with you! And I need.
-I want to see. Tree pairs of shoes?
-Those three are for walking in the water.
-How many times do you think you will walk in the water? And walking with shoes in the lake?
-You do not understand. Everybody does it. Miriam was last weekend to the sea, and took five pairs for walking in the water.
-But Miriam's parents went in a minibus to the weekend. We have no place for so many suitcases.
-Why? It's not many. Just mine and mother's
-And what about Herbert and me?
-You should put you things in a bag.
-???
-What? You always take only few things.
-Yet, we have not enough place for suitcases and the tent.
-Then ask Jim for tow hauler.
.
And tomorrow became today at last. We are ready to go.
-Take positions!
Everybody sat according to the diagram on the driver's door. We are ready. Engine! Go!
We return to attach the hauler and go out again.
The road is very beautiful - marsh from the left and swamp from the right. A lot of animals, mostly mosquitoes, so we go with closed windows.
The only 17 of them, that entered the car before we stopped their invasion, sat comfortably on our limbs and had a bloody party.
-I want to pee.
-Herbert, didn't I say to make it at home?
-But I did not want then.
-And 13 minutes later, you want?
-Yes.
-We cannot stop now.
-Why?
-The animals will eat us.
-I'll wait.
-Yes. In half an hour, we will come through a gas station. There we will stop.
My timing was not that bad. We came to the station after an hour. The added half hour took us to reverse from the bog I entered when Rose saw a mosquito landing on her fingernail and began to shout, "Help! Help!" Until I understood what help is needed, the bog jumped under car's wheels. So we had to reverse without going out of the car. I suggest you not to try it at home.
Well, in the station, Jane decided that she is hungry. Rose too, had to calm herself with ice cream after such a stress. Herbert explained that now he has place for a new drink. So we dined there.
After some time, I noticed that we should continue to the lake, otherwise, it would be late. Therefore, we reentered the car and went away.
After three quarters of an hour, Jane said that she thinks that the hamburger was not good.
After another quarter of an hour, she was sure about it and we returned to the station.
Strangely enough, there Jane felt good, so we decided to go to the lake, but then again, Jane said that she has to puke.
And five miles later, once more.
Then Herbert (from solidarity or bad drink) did it too.
Rose decided that it would be safer to return home.
We agreed and got a very nice karaoke evening in living room, walking distance from the toilet.
What an unforgettable weekend we had!
Jack, we get little grandchildren because we didn't strangled our children! ! ! Been there, did that, and Jack, the price for no doing "it" was better little grandchildren than my children.
They said, "Live longer enough to become a problem to your children", who said that revenge was only divine?
Great write, "old" man.
I love the ending... but it would not have been so much fun without the travel that led the whole family and tent back to it's original comfy place... good Jack. hugs, lindalaw
I know I have taken a few weekenders like this with wife and family but surprizingly didn't learn for each summer someone would suggest it and off we'd go again.
"The statues of Savannah's Monument Square are silent. The statue of the solemn girl in Bonaventure Cemetery—made famous in John Berendt's blockbuster book, Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil—can't speak. Only Savannah's literary monuments can g
