A lot of you may be wondering what life must be like living in a big family. I mean, they see our family, as an example, and they are always amazed at the sheer size of it. They also notice that a lot of the kids are in wheelchairs or walking with the aid of braces and/or crutches, and some of the kids are on oxygen; or that some of the kids look rather strange in appearance, as some of them have missing limbs, facial deformities, or some sort of "syndrome". As a result, we often get a lot of stares, and people often make comments--and some of those comments aren't that nice, I'm afraid.
For example, here are some questions people have asked my parents:
"Are ALL those kids YOURS?"
"Are you part of a church youth group or something, or are you part of a school field trip?"
"You have HOW MANY children??"
"Are the kids from the local institution for the handicapped, or are they part of a special class?"
"How can you take care of kids like that? That would be SO HARD!!!"
"How much does it cost to feed or clothe all of those kids? You must be RICH!!"
"How does it feel being parents to kids who are of different races?"
"You must have ROCKS for brains to take in so many kids at once!! Whatever possessed you to take in THAT MANY children??"
"Why did you adopt kids who are handicapped? That would be SO depressing!!"
"How did your family react when you told them that you were going to adopt kids with special needs?"
These are examples of questions my parents face each and every day of their lives. But they aren't the least bit sorry for adopting kids like Johnny, Ronee', Debby, or Jodie; or even the healthier kids like me or Porter. God gave them the opportunity to adopt kids nobody else wanted, and after getting Johnny and Ronee', the whole thing just sorta' snowballed from there.
They've been adopting ever since. And they may add to the family. That hasn't been decided yet, but they are seriously considering adopting one or two more kids from Africa.
Now to what life is like being a member of a big family...
First, the plus side of the issue:
1.) There are enough kids to make up an entire team (or, in OUR case, TEAMS).
2.) Having so many brothers and sisters means that I am never bored or lonely.
3.) If a kid outgrows his or her clothes, it's okay: someone will eventually wear them later on.
4.) One can't blame a certain somebody; they can always pass the blame on to somebody else (and hopefully, escape punishment!!).
5.) There is never a shortage of kisses or hugs in a family like ours.
6.) There is always somebody to play with and to fight with, somebody to kiss and to hug, and somebody to share your innermost secrets with.
And now, to the negative side of the issue:
1.) It costs a bundle to feed and clothe all of us; mommy and daddy are always complaining that there is never enough money left after bills. And shopping for 50 kids is an absolute NIGHTMARE.
2.) People are ALWAYS staring or making comments whenever they see our family.
3.) People act so panicky whenever we walk into a restaurant or store, like they think that we are going to absolutely destroy the place or something--especially if the restaurant or store happens to be incredibly busy (like the time we all went to the Golden Corral on Mother's Day).
4.) People are always afraid that one of the kids is going to get sick or end up doing something unpredictable.
5.) People make assumptions about my parents or say nasty things about some of my adopted brothers and sisters.
6.) And it absolutely RUINS my day when people say: "Oh! Aren't you Ronee' 's sister?" or "I saw Johnny picking his nose at Wal*Mart" or "I saw Robertito pulling at his diapers; he really must have dumped a LOAD in them!!" or something just about as embarrassing.
Now, I love my brothers and sisters dearly, but I can do without the comments or stares. For one thing, I feel like they are staring or saying things about ME. I have always been a little self-conscious about my looks (short, skinny, rather homely in appearance--I think---, blonde hair, dark eyes), and I think people are talking about ME when they may be talking about my sister or my mommy. And the rude comments always rub me the wrong way because they are talking about MY family, and they are talking about MY brothers and sisters in such a mean, ugly, nasty way; and I get so mad I want to HURT them!!!!
But, if it weren't for my parents adopting me I wouldn't have a familly to speak of. I'd still be in foster care or I still would be languishing in an orphanage. They adopted me because they cared enough for me and my well being, and they knew I needed a strong family environment. (Remember: I was adopted 4 years ago, when I was nine. [I had lost my birth parents when I was only 6.]) I wouldn't know what it was like to spend my teen years without a home or a family I could call my own. For one thing, I could have probably ended up with a real "yahoo.com" for a family; there are some pretty screwed up families out there today. I was really lucky to end up with the family I have now because they are really good to me and all of my brothers and sisters. And they aren't afraid to discipline us or show us that they love us.
And besides, they are teaching us about God and teaching us morals and values, something that a lot of families today DON'T seem to have. They are raising us right. They are fair, but they are firm and strict; and I guess, in a way, that is a good thing.
And when it comes to life, they aren't pussyfooting around. They tell it like it is, and they are teaching us that life isn't fair, but one can succeed in life if they are given a chance. Like with Ronee' and her career in country music. Or with Johnny and his getting to meet many people because of his being a former poster child; and this gives him somewhat of an edge. Sure, Johnny and Ronee' may have problems when it comes to their health, but they are good kids, and they have triumphed over so many odds that had been placed upon them. This is what makes both Johnny and Ronee' so unique.
All in all , life in a big family is fun, but it DEFINITELY presents many challenges. I may gripe sometimes about some things, but the benefits far outweigh the negatives, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I consider myself blessed to have a family like mine because, as I said just a bit ago, if it weren't for my mommy and daddy adopting me I wouldn't have a home OR a family. If it weren't for them I wouldn't have a chance--or a LIFE.
Let this coming of age story of a boy named Bean take you back to a simple time. Set in a small southern town in the 1960's, encircled by a river and gleaming white cotton fields.
