Nashville, TN., 7:01 a.m., D.S.T., May 19, 2009~

Dear Journal~

Howdy!  It's just me, Kaylee Beausoleil, writing!  I hope this finds you well or reasonably happy!

I last wrote back in February.  It's now May.  I do believe an update on our lives is in order.  So here goes:

I am happy to say that Kenneth and Korinne, my two older children, are thriving, doing great!  They love school, and their lives are full of joy and promise!  As for our youngest, three-year-old Kaysa, she has her bad days, as well as her good ones. 

She had been enjoying a spate of good health; however, back in March, she had a spell with her heart acting up, and she has to now use oxygen as a precaution.  She has a disease that prevents her from getting rid of cholesterol, plus it causes other serious health problems, so she is often ill. 

Kaysa has a disorder known as Niemann-Pick disease; it's quite rare, but it is serious.  It can even kill.  Every day we have with her is a gift from God; however, we wonder just how long she will be with us.  That's probably the hardest thing in dealing with this.  We don't know how long she will live.

On her good days, Kaysa, even with being on oxygen, is just like any other three-year-old child:  she loves to play with her dollies, play with her brother and sister, swim, help mommy make cookies, watch "Caillou", "Barney", or "Sesame Street" on PBS, and dress up in pretty clothes.  Nothing really stops her.

The people here in Nashville have been nothing short of amazing.  They have accepted us, welcomed us with open arms.  We have found a loving church family at Christ Community Assembly of God (I work there in the nursery; it's so fulfilling; I just love it!!), and we have found some terrific doctors at Vanderbilt Children's Hospital, who have been wonderful with Kaysa.

We couldn't be any happier than we are at the current time.

I just hope it lasts, particularly on those bad days where Kaysa becomes sick or ends up in the hospital.  Those days are the worst!!

Kenny and Korinne often don't understand why their little sister can't join them in play some days or why she has to go to the hospital (or another doctor) yet again; however, they have been very good with her; I am intensely proud of them both.

I just wish more people were just as accepting of Kaysa as they are!

It's not easy having people stare at my child because she's riding in a baby stroller, hooked up to oxygen tubing, and I get tired of the endless questions; however, I know people are only curious, so I should try to answer their questions as best as I can.

I'm sorry to report that Raymond and I have filed for divorce.  He just didn't want to try to give our marriage a chance:  he's taken up drinking; somehow he finds the brown bottle more important than a relationship, so we parted ways.  I can't have that around my children, or around me, so I have learned to distance myself from him.

It hurts, oh, it hurts, but I know God will get us through.  He hasn't let us down yet, although, at times, the struggles have been nothing short of overwhelming!

I know Korinne asks about her daddy; she misses him, as does Kenny.  I feel so bad for them, but I tell them that daddy is having problems, so this is why he is no longer in their lives; but I am sure he still loves them somewhere deep down.  Kaysa really doesn't remember her daddy; it's because she's been so sick a lot of the time. 

Right now I am not looking for anyone new, but I am hopeful that God will bring a new love in my life.  I haven't given up hope yet!  :)

Well, Kenny is squallerin' again (he can't find his galoshes; it's rainin' buckets out there today), so I'd best go before he wakes up Kaysa.  (Kaysa has a doctor's appointment today, so she will be going to pre-school later than usual.)  I will write in here again soon; until then, this is Kaylee Beausoleil saying so long and God bless!

~Love, your friend, Kaylee Elizabeth Beausoleil.  :)