I decided to do this one, because today I was watching the news on my computer. There was a hockey game going on in Ontario Canada...a girl was going to sing the national anthem....she sang the first stanza then forgot the second part...she stopped...and started over. She tried it again...and screwed it up again right in front of the world...cameras and audience I was so embarrassed for her....after screwing it up the second time, she walked off the rink.....she then came back to try it again....(3rd time) well when she stepped down onto the ice, she slipped and fell down......she never finished singing the song!.......she got up and walked off the ice......sooo embarrassing! OMG! it reminded me...






...Football! ("my most embarrassing moment!") by: David w Smith



"BAAAAMMMM! it flew a good 20 yards"! Right in front of the Grand Stands! Ohh my god!


424 N. Brunell Street.

  Ahhhhh. Seventh grade! My brothers all played football.
We always played football in the back yard or across the road in the neighbors field. All the neighborhood kids would be at our house all the time in the summer playing football, baseball, ....or what ever! but football was what we played the most of and it was fun to make up your own plays.... on 3. BLUE!, 42!, HUT!, HUT!, HUT!, never knew what the Hell blue 42 ever meant, but every body else said it, sooo I did too! I loved being the quarterback (of course! :- ) we always played tackle! That's "ALL" we ever played! and my brothers were all maniacs! especially Scott! I hated to get tackled by Scott. Whenever he was determined to kill you, cream you in football, or what ever. he would stick his tongue out of his mouth a little bit to the one side, that's when you knew that he was serious about kicking your ass. so you'd better run very fast! if you had the football!!! or were just trying to get away from him for whatever reason.

  Sometimes there would be a fight on the field. Cheater! Someone would call someone else, then they would be called a cheater back, and before you knew it they were in the grass rolling around. Comical (but sometimes serious).......it was great fun!

  I was in the Seventh grade. Me and Little Jeff. It was our turn to Join the junior high school football team" we were so excited. Football was going to be sooo cool ! (deep inside, I wasn't really sure if I wanted to join but because of the pressures of my peers, I was definitely doing it!) and I was excited about it.

  It was physical day. physical day was where they weighed us, gave us a physical exam! and we received our uniforms. It was set up military style. We waited in long lines to get all of our things. It was an all day Saturday event. Well, Me and Jeff arrived a little bit later then everyone else did, so we were last in line for our uniforms. We went through the line.....got our shoulder pads. thy pads, knee pads, so on...everything was real cool until we came to the last booth. "the helmet room" where we were to receive our helmets! I was pretty pumped about getting the equipment! and when they tried to fit me and Jeff with a helmet, they couldn't find one! Our heads were pretty much the same size! damn the helmets that were our size were all gone. They tried some that were too small, and some that were too big and none of them fit! well. I was getting a little bit worried here. Can’t play football without a helmet. right? Then one of the coaches came back in to the room, he had a few helmets in his hands (THEY WERE MOONIES!) now anyone that has ever played any organized football, Knows what a "moonie helmet" is. but I am going to tell you!

  A moonie helmet was the "old style" of helmet, the ear cavity portion of the helmet protruded outwards about an inch..looked a little awkward to say the least. It made you look like a giant bug.....or something like that! ohhh and there was one other slight difference too. The teams helmets were all red......the old helmets..were white. Mothaaa fuckaaas! were going to give me and my brother white moonie helmets? we were sooo pissed! we both were going to quit. So the coaches looked all over trying to find us a couple good helmets and they did...uhhhh kinda.....they found a couple of normal looking helmets, but they were still white.....I should have not relented....I should have just quit, but I let them talk me into the moonieless helmet. They made it look like it was a good thing that I didn't have to wear the moonie one! We had white helmets? Damn!  the "Wauseon Indians"!!! the whole team with red helmets, Me! and Jeff with bright white ones.......Greeeat! Life was just freaking Great!!! well...."it was just for now":...at least that's what the coaches told us....."till we could get some more in" they said. Yeah right. We went through the whole damn season and never got the new red ones!

  Now? I hated football! (mostly because of the helmet thing) I never quit though. and to be honest. I joined for eighth grade, and ninth grade! It was just the thing to do I guess that whole season (my first), I just sat around. I bounced around in a few different positions, didn't want to learn the plays, just sat around avoided the coaches, never wanted to actually go out in the field and play. not with that damn white helmet!! I went through the whole season without playing one time. Jeff, on the other hand jumped right in. Id sit on the sidelines and watch as his white helmet would bounce all over the field it was so funny to see. He didn't care! He just wanted to play. For me? It ruined the whole season, that's all I thought about all the time. (That damn helmet)

  It was towards the end of the season. I think we were playing at Liberty Center. Another small town nearby! the football field had a dirt track that ran around it and the bleachers were to the left side (behind us) there were a lot of people watching that day probably a hundred and fifty or so. For 7th grade football, that was a lot. The cheer leaders....”pep club”...what ever, (seventh and eighth grade it was pep club, in high school they were cheer leaders) were doing there pep songs for the stands.

  The score was very close and we had the ball. Jack Rupp was the Quarterback, he called a play. Tedd Dunning was suppose to get the ball, it was going to be a reverse play. I was standing on the sidelines, clueless with my helmet in one hand and by my side. My attention was towards the cheer leaders. I loved to watch the cheer leaders. I am a guy after all. There was one girl that I was in love with. and she was doing her cheer leading thing. even the pep girls wore the short red and white skirts. I was just becoming a pre. teenager, My hormones were starting to go crazy at this point of my life. Marcie was a cute Mexican girl, I liked her a lot. and I was watching her.

  Ted Dunning gets the ball on a reverse play, this type of play usually ends up near the sidelines. He'd either be forced to run out of bounds, or He would find a hole and rush down the field for more yardage, or even a touchdown. Well, not this time. My eyes were fixated on
Marci’s skirt, Tedd was heading straight for me.

  Suddenly, everyone had backed off in a rush, everyone but me that is. I noticed out of the corner of my eye. I looked back to where they were moving, then I looked up just in time to see Tedd and about 4 big liberty center guys coming straight for me at full speed. Tedd was one of the biggest guys on our team.

  BAAAAMMMM! it, I, it, I, it flew a good 20 yards! Right in the vicinity of the Grand Stands! right in the vicinity of Marcie! Ohh my god! it hit! and rolled out of my sight!

  When They hit me, I flew about 10 feet backwards. while I flew through the air, all I could think of was the fact that I had lost my grip on my “bright white helmet” :-) It was all in slow motion, like a very bad dream. It flew like a wayward rocket launch. Like a "Neon light" on a dark street at night, Everyone saw it!, it flew real high! Everyone in the grandstands were watching. All of the cheerleaders were watching, Marcie!

  My helmet flew a good 20 yards But I wasn't really sure just exactly where it ended up.

  I stood up, humbly brushed myself off and proceeded to search for my oddly colored cranium protection device. I saw the direction that it flew but I wasn't quite sure exactly where it was. I looked for about a minute or three, not only was I very embarrassed, I was getting very frustrated as well. Where the hell was that damn thing at? Then I slithered over towards the Grand Stands and the cheerleaders. ohhh shit! How the hell did it roll way over there? there it was!! in the center of the dirt track, between the Grand Stands and not more then 10 feet from the cheerleaders. I was so embarrassed. No one was running to pick it up and hand it to me. I had to walk up and humbly pick-up my abnormal looking piece of deformed equipment. I laugh now, and I hope others will as well, but for a teenager? It was the most embarrassing thing in the world. Suicide was a viable option that day. :-)

  Needless to say, that year really sucked! But it makes a great story!, and makes me laugh now. I slowly walked up to my helmet and picked it up. Ill never forget the looks on all of those girls faces and it seemed that the whole Grandstand was watching me (though I'm sure they were not) as I picked it up! I'm sure that my face said it all that day. it must have been a beet red! Probably the same color that my football helmet should have been.