Monday, June 1, 2009, Nashville, TN., 4:17 a.m., D.S.T. (can't sleep)~

Dear Journal~

Howdy!  It's just me, Ronee', writing; hope you don't mind.  I hope this finds you well; as for me, I am not really doing that good.

Oh, I'm not sick, but I am worried.  Very worried.  And because of my worrying, I can't sleep.  My friend Kendra Kent's daughter, Holly, is in the hospital, fighting for her life.  She lies in a coma in the Intensive Care at St. Jude's Hospital in Memphis; she is very sick.  Her condition at the present time is critical; we are waiting for Kendra (or her husband, Michael) to call, to tell us the awful news that Holly has died.

So far that hasn't happened, but what's to say it won't?

I am trying to be positive, but from what I hear, the news isn't good.  It scares me.

Speaking of hospitals, I was in the hospital last week for a few days.  Had a bad asthma attack, the first one I've had in a while.  Something in the air got my lungs a twitchin', and I couldn't breathe.  It was very scary!  Of course, I got poked and prodded; I was not amused, especially when they did that darned blood gas; my arm is still bruised from that!  It looks like I have the flesh eating bug; it really looks nasty!

Doesn't hurt any more, thank goodness, but the bruise will remain on my arm for a while!

I got some new medication from Dr. Emmons, and so far it seems to be helping; however, maman and daddy both say it's a little too soon to tell if it's working or not.  It must be because I haven't had any problems since being released from the hospital.

And Johnny is in the hospital now, as I write this:  he got a line inserted into his chest, by his collar bone; they put this in so he could get some extra nutrition.  He's gotten awful' skinny; no matter what he eats, he just can't seem to put on any weight.  He really looks bad! 

I am worried about him, too; I don't know what I would do if he were to die on us!  I don't think I could take it!  Johnny and I are so close it isn't funny!  You'd think we were twins, the way we get along, instead of sister and brother via adoption!

Maman says Johnny will be home today or tomorrow; I can't wait!  When he comes home, I am going to give him the biggest hug and kiss he's ever known!  I just love him soooo much!!

Yesterday, Pastor Bilkey could tell that something heavy was pressing on daddy's heart, so he had the congregation lift their hands towards my father, and everyone prayed for him.  Poor daddy was bawling like a baby.  I was close to tears myself; I hate to see him whenever he's so upset, especially since he's not well either!  It can't be good for his high blood pressure, let alone, his asthma!

Because of Holly Kent being in the hospital, the littler kids seemed to be more subdued; they behaved themselves.  It seems funny how a crisis can calm down people or make them aware of the harsh realities of life!

Even I haven't been my usual chipper self.  I don't know Holly all that well, but she seems to be a nice kid.  I'm just sorry she's having to endure so much pain and suffering from her cancer!  I pray she doesn't die, and if she does die, I pray she doesn't suffer; she's suffered way too much now as it is!

I have been trying to find out the answer to my God-question about why He allows suffering on this earth (in particular, when it comes to kids like myself); so far, I haven't gotten an answer.  It's like God's put me on hold.  I know it's in His plan, but I still don't understand His reasonings sometimes.  Maybe it's to make us stronger?  Maybe it's to see if we can rely on Him during times like this?  I don't know; however, right now I am feeling more confused than ever!!

At least this weekend I have something to look forward to, to get my mind off of Holly; however, it looks like a funeral may be in our near future.  I pray not, but if it happens, it happens.  It was her time.  Anyway, this weekend is the annual CMA Music Festival and Fan Fair; it will be fun, but Holly's situation will definitely put a damper on things. 

Well, the tears are threatening to spill yet again, so I will go now, before I get my laptop all wet and short it out from my tears.  That would not be good!  Until later, this is Ronee' signing off; I will write in here again soon!  Take care and may God bless you!  Just keep Holly Kent, Kendra, Michael, and the rest of their family in prayer; they could really use a huge miracle about now!  I am sure they (as well as I) would appreciate it!

Thank you in advance!

~Love, your friend in Tennessee, Ronee' Le-Anne Reaux.  :(