Dear Lucy,

Memories are all I have of them. Them, meaning my family. I was once human, like them, but that was centuries ago, as you well know.

Sometimes I lay in my coffin for weeks, thinking. How, so quickly, mortals grow old and grey. You will see this, yourself, someday.

I watched from a distance as they withered, anticipating their inevitable deaths. How I loved them Lucy! How I love them even now! Strange, that such affection is born from such evil, but I'm sure you'll agree that love is unbiased. It infects both angels and demons alike. Love, it is so merciless, I do say.

I wish they had not died. I wish they were all by my side now. I do truly miss them, but you know this.

How can I, a vampire, who has lived all these centuries, miss and love my family still, you wonder? Well, I don’t know, but hopefully one day you will feel the same as I do. I mean, seeing since you are so young, all those who you loved, when mortal, are all still living. I believe it may be a punishment from God that all vampires, for being what we are, to watch those we love grow old and die.

Lord, I wonder when I end my torment, when the sun rises, if I will see them again or not. I know to kill yourself is a sin. I really don’t care. I have done so many sinful things throughout the centuries, that one more won’t damn me anymore than the others.

I mean, is it not a sinful, evil, thing to kill every night a human to survive? I believe it is. Is it not a sinful and evil thing to have forced you and others to be what I am, for my own selfish reasons?

I do wonder, if my maker is still alive, but it really doesn’t matter. I know many of those I’ve made are dead. You know that we vampires can feel it when one that we are so closely linked to, by blood, dies, because I‘ve told you that.

I know many of those who still live that I have made, will be happy when I’m gone. Though, I know you will not. This is why I worry about you and write this to you, to find tomorrow night.

You are the only one, I have made, who truly loves me. You are still so young though, and know only enough to survive by yourself. I feel such fear that when I’m gone you will not make it, because you will miss me so much. You must stay strong, Lucy, because if you do, you will be able to survive. If you knew my plan, however, you would try and stop me I think. I am not sure on that. Only God knows for now, because I will not let you find this letter until tomorrow night. By then it will be too late to save me.

Please don’t be angry with me. You know that hardly any vampire has the stamina to live as long as I have. I, myself, don’t think any vampire has the stamina to live until the end of the world. I hope you have the stamina and strength to live many a century.

Now, I just hope you don’t cry when you find this. I want you to know that I do truly love you. Goodbye, my sweet child, Lucy. Till we meet again in hell!

Your Maker,

Thomas