Denver, Colorado, 1:17 p.m, M.T., D.S.T.~

Dear Journal~

Sage Rainbow McDermott here.  I hope this finds you well.  As for me, I am doing pretty good:  I have my bad days as well as my good ones; I'm also undergoing mental health counseling to help me deal with issues of my past.

That means I have to tell a stranger my problems:  being abandoned by my parents, living with a strict disciplinarian, my dabblings in cult life, the other kids haranguing me about different things, etc.  It's hard, but I know if I want to get better, go on with my life, I have to do it:  have no choice in the matter.

I have to do different exercises, such as writing in a journal (which I have been doing regularly, for nearly a year now), looking at my reflection in a mirror and telling myself what a good person I am (liking myself), and listing ten good things about myself and focusing all my energy on those instead of on the negativity.

I have been trying to dress more like a typical teenaged girl, trying to shed myself of the "witchy, goth image".  If I am a Christian, I feel I need to look more normal, dress more like everyone else. 

Now that it is summer here, I spend a lot of my time swimming, hanging out with friends from my church, going shopping, to the movies, or go bowling, or maybe hiking up in the mountains, which are just a few miles from my home; you can see them surrounding my house.

On the fourth of July, my uncle Fenton, my Aunt Reba, and a few of my closest friends (Sunnie Ortega, Miracle Thomas, Ebonee' Tyler, and Quincie Vega) are going to see the parade in the morning, go to the city's Independence Day celebration downtown, have a picnic lunch, and then see the patriotic program/fireworks in the evening.  It is going to be a fun day; I am really looking forward to it!

I have had some nightmares of the past (mom and dad abandoning me, excepting in my dreams, I am much older, as well as joining a coven, where we sacrifice animals and tiny babies); I've lost some sleep over that, but when I wake up, I know I am safe.  Maybe it's because I have been forced to deal with this, talk about it, I don't know; I just wish the da** nightmares would stop!!  I HATE losing sleep like this!!

The weather here in Denver is delightful:  sunny, beautiful, with temperatures in the 70-to-80 degree range:  just perfect!  Not too hot, not too cold, just right!  *AHHHH*

Meanwhile, in parts of the south, midwest, and east coast, they're baking with temps in the 90s to 100s.  Not exactly my cup of tea.  I hate being hot; I break out in a terrible heat rash, and if there's one thing that drives me crazy it's sweating!  I start sweating, and I'm more than ready to rip my clothes off!!  Even if in public, I'm ready to do this; I don't care!!

I just want relief!!!!

Well, I just made myself hot thinking about this, so I am going to jump in the shower and get ready:  Mira, Ebonee', and Sunnie are picking me up, and we are going out to eat at Olive Garden, then go bowling afterwards.  Sounds like fun; I can't wait! 

I will write in here soon; take care and may God bless you always!  Love you!  Talk to you again!

~Love, your friend in Colorado, Sage Rainbow McDermott.  :)