July 24, 2009, Nashville, TN., 10:33 a.m., D.S.T.~

Dear Journal~

Bill here.  I know I just wrote, but I was thinking about the Billings family (the children in particular), and I can't imagine the hurt, the pain, the fear, they must all be facing.

The Billings family was comprised of a loving couple (the husband was in his sixties, his wife, in her forties); they were an affluent couple; yet they had a lot of love in their heart.  They adopted a total of sixteen children, many, of whom, had significant special needs.  They wanted to give these hurting children a chance to succeed in life, so they adopted them out of love and compassion.

Many people in their Beulah, Florida, neighborhood knew and loved this family; they were well known and respected.  Then last weekend, all of that changed, when the couple was found in their home, slain.  As many as three of the children may have seen what happened to their parents. 

What makes this case even more disturbing is that each room had security cameras; the murders may have been caught on video tape.  The couple wanted to give these special kids a place where they could feel loved, safe, secure.

Now the question remains:  why would anyone kill a couple who loved children?  What could have possibly been the motive behind this?  Also, what is going to happen to those precious babies?  How are they going to move on, and how is anyone going to explain to them what happened to their mommy and daddy?

The thought of this makes me physically ill.  I can't imagine anything so horrible, so heinous, so brutal, happening to my own family.  I can't imagine what it would be like for our children to come home, to find us, their parents, dead, or vice versa.  I honestly think they couldn't handle it; we are about as close, as tight-knit of a family, as they come.  I fear for their safety every time they step out of the house; I can't breathe until they are in the safe confines of our home, particularly those who are seriously handicapped or have major medical conditions.

This is one reason why we have several dogs, including a 150-pound Great Dane, so they can alert us if anything is afoot.  This is one reason why we have security cameras and an alarm system that can record/go off if anyone tries to break in or comes into our yard (we have flood lights that automatically come on at night or if anyone comes into our yard).  We have a direct link to the police, fire, and emergency rescue (medical) stations, who can come help in any time we may need them.

Some of our children are unable to defend themselves, even in the best of situations (Ian, Isaiah, Emir, Enriquesa, Johnathon, Jodie, Todd, Roberto, etc.); this is why we have to have alarms or protection, as much as possible. 

If anything were to happen to my wife or my babies (children,  but they're my babies, even if most are well past babyhood), I don't know what I would do.  It would be worse than finding our children sick or fighting for their lives; it would be the ultimate worst nightmare we could ever face as parents!

Well, I've made myself cry again, so I am going to go; can't hardly see for all the tears that are falling from my eyes.  I will continue to lift up the Billings children in prayer and pray that God gets them through this horrible time and that loving people can come in and help them in their desperate time of need!  Take care and I will write in here again!  So long for now!

~Love, Bill.  :(  >tears!<