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When Doors Don't Open by Tanya Merced
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Rated "G" by the Author.
The many struggles of being a parent of a special needs child.
When Doors Don't Open!
Trying to get my son into a program that would supply Academics as well as helping him with his social skills has been a long and trying journey for the Merced family. It has been years of going back and forth. Let me explain. When my son was younger he was able to get all the right services and was provided with the best education in NYC, however, once he past the age of elementary school things took a change for the worst.
Since my husband and I both work we are put in the middle class income bracket. This may sound good, but in fact hurts our son's chances in many ways. The first is that he does not qualify for many government programs, because they base it on parents income. He will qualify for the government programs when he turns 18. He must wait 2 more years.
Next, the most difficult. Our work schedules do not allow us to go to many of the meetings and places needed to fight for placement. We have had to take many days off with warnings from both jobs. Next, we have had no luck in referrals or with the advocates supplied to us. Many have told us that our son was lost in the cracks ~ blaming his parents for ignorance of the resources that are out there. I have to tell you that this is the most hurtful part, because we have been our son's advocates for so many years.
Many have called us passive. We don't threaten enough or yell enough, etc. We have prayed, we have fasted, we have listened, we have taken action, but still the doors have not opened. We even decided to put my son in private school. Yes, the financial burden would be difficult, but so worth it. We were told once again that we would have to go to the district and have them refer my son. Oh, My God~ we are just going in circles. What is going on?
We could go to a lawyer and try to fight the board of education, but this is where it gets so sticky. Where would all the money come from? It is very expensive and the Board of Education is known for dragging its heals. Next, I work for the Board of Education. This creates conflict of interest.
Well I could write and lie and say I am not frustrated. I could also write and say that I understand full well why this is happening. I would be the biggest liar.
What I could say is this ~ " I know that my Daddy in heaven has everything in control. When the doors are closed it is for a reason." I may not understand the reason, but what I do know without a doubt is that many of the doors that have been closed in my life have helped me to enter the right ones.
When the doors don't open I will wait and see what blessings are in store.
"But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint" (Isa. 40:31)
This is a topic I write about quite regularly, in a fictionalized setting. I am not a parent; yet I write about parenting issues, particularly parenting children who have special needs (plus I have special needs myself; am disabled). Powerful, heartbreaking, and eye opening account of what parents must go through to get what they feel their child deserves. Well done!
(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :(
God bless you; I will keep you in my prayers/thoughts~
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