Terri Hershey here.  Thought I'd update you on what has been happening with us.

We are doing well, all things considering.  David continues to be a paradox of symptoms.  Some days he is seemingly normal, with no idiosyncrasies to hint to others that "something is wrong"; on others, he is a little whirlwind of stimulation, raw, uncontrollable emotions, and chaos.

It is on those days where he is calm, serene, tranquil, that I look forward to the most, as I know there is a little person inside that raging little body.

Today was one of his off days.  It all started early this morning, when he woke up, seemingly on the wrong side of the bed.  He couldn't find one of his socks, so he threw one of his shoes in a fit of temper.  The shoe went through the window.  Clear into the next door neighbor's bush.  I told him we do not do that; he reacted by biting me, taking a plug right out of my elbow.

I put David into the Time Out chair; he reacted violently, screaming, kicking, calling me every dirty name he could think of.  I was shocked:  I never knew my son knew such colorful language.  I taught my son to use appropriate words, language; I had him involved in church, and did not allow him to watch programs that had gratuitous language/sex/violence in them. 

After David cussed me out, I walked out of the room, shut the door, and cried for an hour.  I then called my neighbor next door, who came over, where she consoled me over a cup of coffee.  She clucked sympathetically as I told her what had happened.  In the meantime, David kept ranting/raving in the other room; soon the banging and screams subsided.  When I went to check on him, to see what he was doing, he was lying on the floor, sleeping like a baby, thumb parked in his mouth, and a puddle of urine on the floor.

I don't know what precipitated David to go over the edge like that; this is how things are when you have a child with autism.  They can be so sweet and loving one minute; the next, it's like they're zoned out in outer space somewhere, oblivious to the world around him. 

That's what makes autism so hard to live with or understand because no two children with autism are alike.

This is when I wish David were like other little boys his age.  While he can function fairly well in a world not geared for his specific disabilities, there are those days (like today) that seem to fly right out the window, and you're doing everything humanly possible not to "lose it" or pull your hair out by the roots.

I just thank God for the support group I belong to.  I know I am not the only one raising a child who has special needs; I also know that even on his "off days", David's problems aren't nearly as bad as are others, who are facing far worse situations.  Like the man who has the daughter dying of AIDS, or the man who has a son with some rare syndrome that threatens to end his life before he even reaches the age of four/five years.

I don't know what I would do if my son had AIDS or a syndrome that is the result of a faulty gene, and there's really no protocal or systematic treatment on how to make their lives better; basically, all you do is take care of them, keep them happy or comfortable, until they die.  That isn't the sort of life I would want to have; suddenly, David's "quirks" seem a walk in the park, and I suddenly feel blessed.  Very blessed, in fact.

After I got to thinking about my friends from the support group, I walked into my son's room, where he now lay sleeping in his bed, and I gently picked him up and kissed him on his cheek.  He didn't even stir.  He was wiped out from his tirade.  I knew he would be sleeping for the next several hours, which he did.

When he woke up, it was as though the temper tantrum never happened:  he was his sweet, smiling, sweet self all over again.

I shouldn't get too annoyed with my son when he gets mad; however, he should know better than to use bad language or trying to latch on my elbow like a pitbull.  This was why I punished him; he has to know right from wrong, and just because he is disabled shouldn't give him free reign of the house.

Meanwile, I had a sore elbow, as well as a shoe to rescue from the neighbor's yard. 

I just hope that tomorrow proves to be a much easier day.  I hate it whenever David acts like a little uncivilized human being; it goes against everything I was taught about parenting. 

Just say a prayer for me; I really could use it, especially on a day like today!  Today was one for the record books; this was the worst David has acted in quite a long time!

Thanks in advance!  God bless and thanks for allowing me to vent!  I really needed to get that out!

~As always, your friend, Terri, David's mom.  :(