Hey!  Remember me?  It's me, Casey, Casey Dawn Hackberry.  I live in Green Bay, Wisconsin, with my mom and dad; I'm an only child.  I was to have had a brother back around Christmastime, but around the eighth month of her pregnancy, mom fell and the baby came too soon.  He lived only six hours.

I had a brother, but for only six hours.  When daddy told me my little brother had died, I cried for what seemed like hours.  His name was Clinton David.  He was beautiful.  Daddy showed me his picture they took at the hospital, when he was still alive, and even with all the tubes and stuff on or around him, he was still beautiful to me.  He looked like a small, sleeping angel.

I didn't go to the funeral.  It would have been too sad.  Instead, I stayed at my aunt's house in Kenosha for a few days.  When I came back home, I tried my best to help mom and dad, but it was hard seing them being so sad.

It is now August.  November will mark the one-year anniversary of Clinton's birth (and death).  I am not looking forward to it.  I wish I could have another little brother; that way, I could show him how to do things, like hit a ball, how to walk, how to talk, or how to read.  Now I will never get that chance, unless mom gets pregnant again.

It's hard being an only child.  That way, I wouldn't have to keep getting the blame for each little thing I do wrong.  That way, if I had a brother or a sister, I could pin the blame on them, and hopefully get away, scot free!

That's why I haven't written in such a long while.  I've been too sad.  I miss my little brother so much; I didn't even get to meet him except by looking at a hospital picture of him, and I never got to say goodbye to him.  I can't even go by the nursery, which sits empty, without breaking down into tears.  It has been awful!

I am seeing a grief counselor, to help sort out my feelings (as are mom and dad); we go as a family.  It helps, but not really.  I still feel angry at God for taking my brother away from me.  Oh, we could have had so many wonderful times together!  Now Clinton's an angel, and he gets to pal around with Jesus, while I get to put up with life here on earth!

I tell ya, life sure isn't fair sometimes!!

Well, dangit, I've only managed to make myself cry again; when are the tears ever going to stop?  Am I ever gonna be happy again??  I will go now; I can't see what I'm writing, due to all the tears that are falling from my eyes!

I will run along; until another time, this is Casey Hackberry saying so long!  Bye now!

~Love, your friend, Casey Dawn.  :(  >tears!<

*To be continued.*