Hi! My name is Jodie, and I am 10 1/2 years old. (Mommy is writing this, as I cannot talk. She is going to be my voice.)
I am 10, as I just said, but I am not like most little girls my age. See, I am handicapped; always have been, always will be. I was born brain damaged, and I was also born with something called "cerebral palsy." Cerebral palsy means that I have problems with my movement, and it also affected my speech. I can't move well without jerking uncontrollably, and I can't talk either. I also can't walk; because of this, I am in a wheelchair.
I probably never will walk because my legs are way too weak to hold my body up. This means I will never walk, even if it WAS to be on a walker or crutches. I will always be in a wheelchair.
I also have other problems besides my brain damage and my cerebral palsy. I am mentally handicapped; I will learn things at a very slow pace--if at all. Doctors say I am "profoundly retarded", with an IQ of below 30. Exactly WHAT does THAT mean??? Am I capable of learning ANYTHING AT ALL? (At ten I am more like a baby.)
I can't write, can't read, can't dress myself, and can't walk or talk, as I just said. I also can't go to the bathroom; for this reason I have to wear diapers. I also have seizures and have to take medicine for those. I am also tube-fed because I have problems swallowing and am liable to choke. I drool because I can't swallow, and sometimes I choke. (The tube feedings have made my life A LOT EASIER; at least I can eat, even though I can't taste my food!! And best of all, I don't choke as much, not like I used to, which means fewer trips to the hospital for me!!)
Because of my handicaps, I am smaller than most kids my age. At 10 I look more like 4 or 5. I will probably never be very big when I get to be a grownup like my mommy. But that is okay. Mommy isn't very tall herself. (Daddy is, though. He reminds me of a tree; he is SO TALL!!!) And because of my handicaps I require a lot of special care from my family and also doctors, nurses, and therapists. It takes a lot of people to make sure that I am well, happy, and comfortable.
I was born in Korea, which is why I have slanting eyes, straight, dark hair (which, as you can see, are usually done in two pigtails), and yellowish skin. I understand both English and Korean, although, at my house, you hear other languages: French, Swahili, Vietnamese, Japanese, Korean, English, Spanish, Croatian, Russian, Chinese. It's because my brothers and sisters are all adopted, like me, and they all still speak their native languages besides English. Mommy and daddy don't want them to forget their native languages, but at the same time, they are teaching them English, especially when they go out in public. (Most of the people in public speak English. Or Spanish.)
I was adopted when I was 3 years old. I've now been with my family 7 years.
I really don't know about my real family back in Korea because I was in the hospital, and when I got out of the hospital I was put into an orphanage. I don't know why my family didn't want me. It kind of makes me sad, to know my family didn't want me, but then here comes mommy and daddy--the ones I have now--, and they took me in as their own; and they are the only mommy and daddy I have ever known. Which is fine with me.
But I sometimes wonder what my real family were like. Did I have brothers? Sisters? Was I an only child? What would have happened if I HADN'T been born handicapped? What would have happened if they had kept me and raised me as their own child? Would they have loved me like my family here in America does?
These are questions I ask myself over and over again....
I sometimes cry about my family back in Korea, and I wonder if they ever think about me--or miss me. I hope I didn't do anything *BAD* to make them want to get rid of me....
But then I think about my family here, and I think how they all love me and take care of me; and I think of all the warm, fuzzy memories of Christmases or birthdays past, and I think of all the places I have been to; and all of the singers I have seen in concert (including *ALAN JACKSON*; he is such a *HOTTIE*!!); and I think of how lucky I am in comparison to a lot of kids; a lot of kids don't have families or a home to call their own, or they are having a lot of problems in their families, and they don't know what it is like to be loved; and then I don't feel so bad, 'cause I have a home and a family who loves me so much.
A lot of kids who are like me--severely handicapped or kids who need a lot of help in their daily needs--are still in hospitals or institutions, with nobody to love them; and that makes me sad. They are people, too, and they deserve to be loved and cared for!
If I could wish *one* thing for myself it would be to talk, even if it were for only 5 minutes. I have so much to say, but I am unable to talk; so other people (like mommy, for instance) have to talk FOR me and be my voice.
I think that would be *SO COOL* to be able to speak and say what is on my mind!!
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**WRITTEN BY JODIE** (by way of my mommy, who acted as my voice), aged 10 1/2.
Author's Note: Although the main character in this story is nonverbal, if she could talk, this is probably what she would say. I wanted to write this through HER eyes, as she observes everything around her, and if she could talk, she would have probably written something similar to the above story. Her mother wanted to give her daughter a voice, so this was why she wrote the story in the manner that she did.
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