This is Pippa. Pippa Yancey. I am 13 years old, and I live in Tennessee.
I am not in the best frame of mind right now; haven't been for months now, it seems. I am presently in the hospital, recovering from injuries stemmed from my being struck by a drunk driver. My injuries are severe; I fractured several bones in my neck, and because of it, I am now paralyzed. I am now a quadriplegic.
The accident happened 4 months ago, and I had been walking home from school, with my friend, Barbara Sandusky, just cutting up and acting like crazy teenaged kids; when, all of a sudden, this red Corvette came speeding around a corner and inadvertantly slammed into me. The driver driving the car was drunk; he had been drinking prior to getting behind the wheel of his flashy car. (He somehow had missed Barbara, but he managed to hit me full force.) I don't remember much after this point, but I do remember being slammed into the ground from the force of the impact; and I remember landing on my head and then feeling incredible pain; and hearing a distinct "ping" as my head hit the ground; and then the sensation of the pain disappearing. That was when I blacked out.
When I awoke later that day, I found myself in the hospital, on my back, in a hospital type bed, a tube in my arm; and my worried mother standing over me, weeping. My friend, Barbara, was there, too, and she looked like a little scared rabbit. She was understandably concerned, not to mention, upset. Barbara's mom was there, too, as she was my nurse; and she tried her best to reassure me, and also my mom and my friend.
I was vaguely aware of the feeling I still had in my body--or, rather, the lack of it. I still felt like my body was nothing but a big pincushion; you know how your foot or hand feels after you've laid on it for a while, and it goes to sleep? Well, that was the feeling my body was experiencing, and it really felt weird!!
And I didn't like it ONE BIT.
That's when Dr. Stryker came into the room to talk to me and to my mom. He sounded very serious as he spoke. He said I had suffered a severe fracture of my cervical spine; and because of it I would now be paralyzed from the neck on down. I would probably never walk again; I would probably always be in a wheelchair. He said the damage was too great and too extensive. Dr. Stryker was the name of my doctor, and he was a top neurologist. He would be the one in charge of my care.
At first, I didn't catch what he meant, but then mom started screaming and crying; and that's when I started. I tried to turn my head, and instantly felt pain at both sides of my head. (Unbeknownst to me, I had steel tongs inserted into the sides of my head, near my ears, to hold my neck in traction.) I started to cry and scream all the harder.
I would now no longer be able to do the things I enjoyed doing: riding "Blaze", my horse, caring for her, being with my friends or doing things like shopping at the mall, playing arcade games, going for an ice cream on a hot day, go roller skating at the local skating rink, go bowling at the local bowling alley, or practice our new routines for our cheerleading club. I would now be a prisoner in a wheelchair, unable to walk ever again, and unable to move anything but my head. My life was over in an instant, thanks to that fucking bastard who had gone drinking before he got behind the wheel.
This has been four months ago, and I still lie here in the hospital. My back and neck are healing nicely, and just last week the ice tongs came out of my head; they had done their job, and now I had progressed to the point to where I didn't need the extra traction. Which was fine with me; I didn't like them biting me each time I tried to move my head; and besides, my poor neck was so stiff it was all I could do to keep from crying! I am still on this damned old Stryker frame; every two hours nurses or orderlies come in to turn me, so I don't get sores on my body; and at times I feel like I am a piece of meat on a spit!! (Lookout! Here comes the barbeque sauce!!) Needless to say, I DON'T get much in the way of sleep. And my body is still numb from my neck on down; I STILL cannot feel my arms or my legs....
I CANNOT WAIT 'TIL I GET OFF THIS FUCKING STRYKER FRAME!! I wanna' lie in a REGULAR BED FOR ONCE!!!!!!
My mother has been at my side each and every moment, and if it were not for her, I'd go CRAZY!! My dad calls regularly from his home in Washington State; he can't come here to Tennessee because of his job; he works billions of hours, and his job prevents him from being able to come home to see me.
By the way, my parents are divorced; that is why daddy lives in Washington State and mom lives here in Tennessee.
I think that sucks. I really miss dad; I really would love to see him again...
And I worry about Timmy, my 2-year-old brother; I am sure he must have forgotten about me. He is just a baby, and he doesn't understand about what has happened to his big sister. He is full of innocence, and he doesn't understand about things like hospitals, wheelchairs, or paralysis. The thought of his big, brown eyes, soft, plump, kissable cheeks, and little dumpling knees suddenly has me near tears; how I long to kiss him again!! I also worry about Hannah, my 6-year-old sister. She must miss me terribly. She and I are buddies; we were always together!! How must the news of my injuries be affecting her? How will she react when Sissy (me) comes home from the hospital--in a WHEELCHAIR????
Dr. Stryker (wonder if HE invented the Stryker frame I now lay upon??) tells me I am going to be going to a rehabilitation facility upon my release from the hospital; while there, I will undergo a daily regimen of extensive physical therapy, in the hopes of that I will regain SOME of my movement; he is optimistic that I will be able to learn to move my shoulders, arms, possibly my hands. This way I will be able to care for myself SOMEWHAT and not depend on others. Hmm. That sounds rather promising....He says I have a long, tortuous road ahead of me, and even though I probably will never walk again and always be dependant on a wheelchair, I, at least, am able to breathe on my own; there are people here, he said, who require the assistance of ventilators to breathe because of the nature of their paralyzing injuries.
Thank God I am NOT that way!! But being paralyzed from the neck on down IS BAD ENOUGH!!!! This is going to be a totally different life for me, and I probably won't like it, but oh, well..I AM GOING TO BE BACK among my family and my friends again, and being paralyzed ISN'T GONNA' STOP ME!!!
sad story...it shouldn't happen, but it does...all we can do is be strong and come out better than we were before. TEN!!! (((HUGS))) and love, karla. :)
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