He uses me to fulfill his own needs with little to no thought about mine. He leaves me in the dark without even a good-bye, and goes on his merry way as if I don’t have feelings. Uses me and then just walks out. He never says, "thank you," no show of feelings, no signs of his understanding of how hard I try to please him. Most of the time he doesn’t trouble himself enough to throw a cover over me when he’s finished.
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What am I to him really? Does he care about me at all? Well, I’ve had enough. I’m about ready to put an end to this abuse. I do believe that neglect of my feelings, and the very obvious way he is taking me for granted is a form of abuse. Don’t you agree? He goes to parties and leaves me here all alone. He has his friends come over to watch the game, and when his team loses he gets all upset and comes stomping up to me as if I were to blame. Then he takes his frustration out on me in his usual way, banging away with not a thought about me, about whether or not I’m warmed up yet, ready for him. He doesn’t care, he wants me to perform for him and perform I do.
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I know now that he really doesn’t respect me. But who does he come to when he needs answers? Me! Whom does he come to when he needs to escape from the pressures of his day? Me. Who is always there for him night or day? Me, Me, Me, Me! He needs me desperately, but he does not respect me. Enough is enough.
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He’s not a stupid man, far from it. He’s a brilliant man. And he knows very well what his life would be like without me. He’d be miserable. There’s no way he could replace me and what I do for him day in and day out. He’d find himself totally lost without me. I guess I should feel bad about that, but after what I’ve been through with him I don’t. All I feel is a wicked need to get even. And, I’m sorry to say this, but I’ve had it up to my you know what with all of his nonsense. This time there will be no turning back. I’ve run out of forgiveness. He’s ruined what we had. I’m going to show him. Boy, am I going to show him. Just as soon as I figure out a way. I have a lot of ideas, but none of them are just right.
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There’s lots of trouble I could cause him, but I have to be careful. I have to time it exactly right so that it will have the most impact. It has to be done at a time when he is totally dependent upon me. When to lose me will bring his world tumbling down around his feet. I want him to know just how bad I feel. I want to hurt him like he’s hurt me, no... I want him to hurt more. I want him to really suffer, to feel totally lost. He’s gonna pay for his neglect, soon, but in the meantime I’ll remain the faithful one. He doesn’t know that soon his world will come crashing down like a meteor. I may be small, but I’m very powerful. I can be his best friend or his worst enemy, it’s his choice. I can obliterate his world, I can do it, because I have that power. Who am I? I’m his computer.

© Marcia Miller-Twiford