Forgive me for not writing; it's been an awful few weeks. 

Remember my last entry, when I mentioned my brother, G-Man, had swine flu?  Well, he developed complications, and he died.  The doctors or nurses couldn't save him.  He was only six years old.

As you can imagine, the entire family is devastated:  me, mama, daddy, my other brother, and my sisters.  The funeral was last week; I don't remember much of it except mama crying and going hysterical when she saw her little boy lying in a casket.  I saw him too; it didn't seem real, even though he was right there, in front of us.

I haven't been to school since this happened; I know I am going to have a ton of homework to do when I get back; however, right now, I don't care.  All I care about is how badly I miss Ja'Vonte'!!  I want him back!!!!

It doesn't seem fair!  Why did Ja'Vonte' have to get this stupid flu anyway??  This flu is bad news:  it's killed nearly 100 people here in the U.S. alone; no telling how many peole it's killed worldwide!!  It's really hitting children and infants the hardest, although some adults have died of it as well.

Count my baby brother, Ja'Vonte', six years old, as one of the statistics, those killed by swine flu. 

Family and friends have been stopping by, bringing us food, money, and stuff.  I just don't understand why they bring us food:  none of us feels like eating, anyway!  How stupid can some people be??

Since my brother died, I don't want to do anything:  go outside, see my friends, go to school, nothing!  I am very angry at God right now:  I prayed that He would make my brother better; it didn't happen.  If He is the God of love, then why didn't He do anything to save Ja'Vonte, keep him from dying??

As you can imagine, I am not doing well at all.  It seems every little thing can get me bawling again.  I can't eat, don't have any appetite.  I think of Ja'Vonte' playing with the angels, or sitting in Jesus' Lap, laughing his little head off, and I get sick to my stomach!! 

I also think about the times when I used to pick on him, telling him he was the worst little brother I ever knew, and how I wished that he would die; now it's come true , and there's nothing I can do to bring him back!! 

I think I'm responsible for Ja'Vonte' 's death; I feel like it's all my fault that he got swine flu, and then he died!!

Well, dang it, I've started crying again, so I am going to go.  I can't write anymore; don't know when I will write again.  If you don't hear from me, now you know why. 

Bye for now!

~Teeka.  :(  *tears!*