Unfolded Blood

“Linda”.
“I’m terribly sorry, Linda. Are you alright?”
He helped me get on my feet. The ache suddenly wrapped me.
“Where did the ball hit you?”
“Here, in my belly.”
He grasped my hand and then there was a harsh mixture… The sand had become really hot under my feet and my wrist hurt where his seize had been. I lied down next to mum and put my arms around me to relieve the pain.
“Who threw the ball to you?”
“The idiot in blue over there. I should’ve kicked his ass.”
“That’s Nigel! Noah’s son!”
“Who’s Noah?”
“The man with the tattoo studio, my dear.”
“The man full of tattoos, always on motorbike?”
“That’s right.”
“Mum…”
“Yes, darling, are you alright?”
“No, mum…it hurts… mum…”
“What is it? Oh, my god, Linda!” In spite of how her voice sounded, she looked rather surprised than horrified.
“What now, mum?”
“Linda, you’ve got your period! Oh, baby, that’s wonderful!”
“Oh, no, the sheets! Oh, look! The sand is stained around me!” How was I going to face everybody on the beach when getting up? The only thing that came to my mind was the ocean’s water… so blue… so deep… you only need to close your eyes and let go… the pillow was soft… my elbow rested on the wet place, where I had spilled the hot tea.
“I’ll get you another cup, don’t worry!”
The sheets smelled like lavender. It was the tea perhaps. And then there was that other smell… my smell.
“If it hadn’t been for that stupid Nigel! I hate him!”
“Relax, my darling. Look, I’ve got to go now and I thought you’d like this movie here. Guess what? Nigel’s father, Noah plays the main part in it. He was just about Nigel’s age: thirteen or fourteen. And the little girl…”
“Is she like me?”
“Yes, she’s beautiful.”
“Was she ten years old like me?”
“Well, well, in a few months you’ll be eleven. Now, relax and watch it! It was my favourite movie when I was like you.”
The boy looked very much like Nigel. I felt the ache in my belly again and then my wrist got hot with the memory of his seize. My mind boiled with the mixture of all of these. What if I slapped him? I watched the boy in the movie and it was him I watched. It was Nigel.
“Mum, you said you wanted a tattoo, right? You said you’d go to Noah’s studio these days, didn’t you?”
“That’s right. I need a tattoo right here on my left teat.” She laughed. “Maybe I’ll go tomorrow.”
“Take me with you. I want to see him again, now that I watched the movie.”
“He doesn’t look that way no more.”

She was young and cute like my mum and the leather dress was gorgeous on her. I looked at her and then I looked at mum again. Two goddesses facing each other, yet so different. One was the goth type, the other was frail and delicate.
“Linda, my son Nigel must apologize to you.”
“He did it yesterday, on the beach.”
“Did he?”
Noah greeted us. He smiled to mum. “You came for the tattoo, right? You’ll have to tell me about it, the whole story!”
“Can you imagine? The story of a tattoo yet to be made!”
“How are you, Linda?”
“I came to see you again. I watched your movie.”
“You know, you look very much like that little girl.”
“And you look like… you look like Nigel.”
Everybody laughed and I felt miserable.
“No, my darling, Nigel looks after me. That’s ok.”
Then he appeared. He looked at me from the door way for a moment. I felt his eyes drilling my cheek and couldn’t look back.
“Wow, something is going on here!” Noah took our mummies by hand and looked back. “Why don’t you go for a walk, the two of you? We’ve got work to do.”
“How are you, Linda? Will you go for a walk with me?”
I nodded without thinking and he took my wrist in his hand and led me outside.
“Where are we going?”
We ran to the beach and then I saw the motor boat. I was afraid and reluctant. He knew it; he stretched one hand to me and the other to a distant rock. There was something like the ruins of a wall on it.
“That is my world! Come with me!”
We stepped out of the boat and I pushed him. I raised my hand to slap him but he caught my wrist again. He pushed me back and I leaned against the wall. I was totally helpless; nobody could hear me if something happened.
“Go away!”
His cheek came next to mine; still there was hardly any touch. And I felt like the lower part of my body had moved into my ear when he whispered: “Say it again and I’ll go!” Then there was a harsh exchange; I bit his lip and he drew one of my hair stripes. We were both puzzled and taken aback. I took advantage of it and gave him a slap.
“Here you are!”
His kiss came sweet and fierce as a relief.

I heard their footsteps and saw their faces close to each other. Noah caught my mum’s arm and then Nigel’s mum appeared and he let it go. She gave them an icy self-conceited look.
“Good-bye! Have a good day!”
“Bye, Linda!”
“Bye, Nigel!”
We got into the car. I saw she had tears in her eyes.
“What happened, mum? Is it about the tattoo?”
“We’ve got to move out, my darling.”
“Why?”

The morning was cold and foggy. I felt the icy water wrapping my feet as I tried to catch a glimpse of it again.
“It’s still there, dear Linda.”
“Noah? What are you doing here?”
“What are you doing here alone? Does your mum know where you are?”
“Why does she want us to move out?”
“Does she?”
“Do you know why?”
“No, I don’t.” He delicately arranged my hair stripe behind my ear. “You’ve got sleek hair. You’re so beautiful! I remember…”
“The little empress?”
“Yes, you remind me of her.”
“Didn’t she give him a grain of her world?” I leaned my head on his chest. “Kiss me! It doesn’t matter if it’s you or him.” He pressed his lips on mine. Would he have wished to rape me if I had been a bit older?
I saw the tattoo and I know its story. Anyway, I felt its story long before I knew it. My little daughter fell in love with the boy in the movie. Some things you don’t need to know.
Still, have you ever been there in the waters and closed your eyes for a moment? Wishing to be taken away? To let it go?