Saturday, November 7, 2009, Nashville, TN., 4:10 a.m., C.S.T. (can't sleep)~
Dear Journal~
Bill here. Sorry for not writing; my health and taking care of my family (plus working) just doesn't allow me for much in the way of free time. Hope you understand.
My arthritis just won't give me a moment's peace. I also have fibromyalgia on top of it; that's why I have been having a lot more in the way of pain, much more than usual. It's like having arthritis of the muscles; it's horrible!! I wouldn't wish it on my own worst enemy!
(Men can get fibro; it's just not as widespread as it is in women. They do get it; I'm living proof of that!)
Went to my doctor; after having tests done at the hospital, this is what he came up with. I'm taking something now to try and relieve the pain; it's too soon to tell if anything's working because I hurt as much now as I was before I got diagnosed.
My poor family has been putting up with my emotional tirades. Let's face it: I've been a real bear lately; I've not been that pleasant to be around!
What happened the other day in Fort Hood, Texas, doesn't help my mood any. It's like living the horrors of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, and September 11, 2001, as well as the shootings at Virginia Tech all over again. Thirteen people died, and over 30 injured when a gunman who worked at the base snapped and opened fire before a brave female civilian officer stopped him by shooting the shooter four times. It just doesn't make sense, especially since the guy himself was in the service and was a doctor, of all things!!
What could have possibly happened to cause the man to snap like he did?? Why did he even do such a horrific thing??
I think of those poor families, and my heart absolutely bleeds for them. Once again as a nation we mourn and must think of our own mortality. I can't help but cry out to God, asking Him why He must allow this to happen again and again!
I have been on my face in prayer, asking for answers, and praying for the dead and their families. I don't know when I've cried so much!! I feel like a wrung-out dishrag!
I know that at church this Sunday, Pastor Bilkey will probably mention this event; the topic of the shootings in Texas has been on everyone's lips (including mine); it's all we can even think about or talk about. It's the topic of the day.
I look at my own family, and I wonder what would happen if (God forbid) someone came and opened fire on them. What would I do if I were to lose my wife, my children, my in-laws, to a madman? How would I cope? How would I ever learn to forgive the killer (or killers) who did this to me? It's something I don't like to think about, but I must, because it could happen. Not very likely, but there's a small chance that it could; I must do all I can to take the necessary steps to protect what is mine: my precious family!
I worry most about the children who can't defend themselves: Johnny. Jodie. Todd. Vincente. Corbin. Roberto. Ian. Isaiah. Deborah. Enriquesa. Emir. Lightning. Melizza. Benjamin. How would they react if they were suddenly in danger of losing their lives? Would the gunman (gunmen) have any sympathy on them? Somehow I doubt it: as long as they got what they want, taking innocent lives, then I doubt that my kids would even survive being shot.
It's enough to make me want to cry or throw in the towel, but I must somehow take all the necessary steps to protect the most vulnerable of my children -- no, all of my children!!
My children deserve that right, to be safe and secure right in their own backyard!!
On to more pleasantries:
I have been working hard at Wally-World. While I don't deal with the customers as much as I did when I was a greeter (work security now; work in the back room, in an office setting, where I can watch/monitor customer/employee activity and report any suspicious activities), my job is no less important. I enjoy my work most of the time, but I do miss the rapport I had with the majority of the customers. I enjoyed talking with them; got to meet many people from all walks of life.
We are now in the middle of getting the Christmas things up; it won't be long before the store is crawling with holiday shoppers on the hunt for "that perfect gift". I am not looking forward to working that Thanksgiving weekend; it's going to be beyond nuts!!
Our church festival is over and done for another year. It was a smashing success: over 20,000 people came and had a great time. Don't know if anyone accepted Christ, but we did get the message out there, that they need Christ in their lives. We tried to show the love of Christ in thought/words/action. The weather was spectacular, the music was even more so (McKameys, MacGruders, and the Kevin Spencer Family being the main entertainment), and there were a lot of families and young people present. It was wonderful to see!
Now we have the Feeding of the Veterans on Veteran's Day, as well as feeding the homeless/Veterans/downtrodden on Thanksgiving Day, to look forward to, not to mention, the Christmas Cantata, which will be held the week before Christmas. We have been working hard to get the music nailed down for the Cantata; we want to make sure we know our parts and have all the bugs ironed out.
Well, I have to go: meeting some of my friends in less than three hours at the Golden Corral (it's our monthly "out-for-breakfast-meeting-up-with-friends" day; some of the men from church get together for food, fun, and fellowship one Saturday a month), have to get ready.
It takes me a little time to get ready; with my body/aches/pains, I have to do things slow, methodically, or else I might end up in worse shape than what I'm already in! LOL Until later, this is Bill saying sayonara! So long; talk to you later! God bless! May He have mercy upon our nation yet again!!
~Bill. :(
