On The Bench

    I've been sitting on this bench for the last three days, knowing that I'm going to die very soon.  I have faced this fact quite well, I think: no tears, no railing at my fate.  In the same period, I haven't seen another soul around...  except for the occasional bird, most of them almost - featherless sparrows.  They are all dead now.  The trees around me in this park are dying, too, I think, as they have lost all their leaves and it is only August.  I am rather ashamed to admit that, using my switchblade, I butchered one of the dead birds and ate it.

    I'm using a Palm Pilot I found to write this as I sit here.  I was surprised it still works, what with the EMP the neutron bomb that hit downtown Toronto must have emitted and the fallout.  I was "lucky" to have been in one of the underground malls that are numerous in the main part of the city.  I was spared the fireball and the blast wave...  but those pesky neutrons caught up to me. That was about five days ago, I think.  I must confess that I hid in a LCBO for at least a day and I proceeded to get hammered after I realised my days were numbered.  So things are a little bit blurry in my memory.

    I did not see any looters; I suppose everyone on the surface got a lethal dose that took them down within minutes.  Plus, I saw a lot of burned bodies, and many that were partly buried under rubble.  I had a hangover, and really wanted just to sleep, but I found myself drawn to the centre of the disaster.  I couldn't get very close to it (it looked like it had gone off just over the Air Canada Centre) but I could see a surprisingly small crater.  I surmised it must have been an air burst.  At that time, I was surprised to find that it was not a totally silent place: birds still sang and I could hear  dogs barking in the distance.  I felt a bitter hatred towards those simple creatures right at that moment: they didn't realise they were going to die.

    I found a heavy parka to wear, as the weather had turned surprisingly cold.  How long does it take to get nuclear winter started up?  I wondered.  Does not look like a limited exchange me...  looks like it was the whole magiilla!

   The wind is from the East.  I knew this guy that went to the University of Toronto who had told me that, if it ever came down to all-out nuclear war, Southeastern Ontario was in for overkill due to the fact there were so many microwave transmitters there.  Not to mention army bases.  I suppose the wind is bringing extra fallout from those areas.  Well, it will help me die sooner, which doesn't really bother me as the pain, the bleeding and everything else is so terrible.

    I think I'll lay down on the bench, now, even though it's only early afternoon.  I have a feeling I won't wake up but that's okay.  Maybe someone will pick up this device sometime and read what I had say.

    Oh, yeah! I almost forgot...  I broke into one of the labs at U of T and snatched a Geiger counter.  It's sitting on the ground in front of me and just about jumping up and down with activity...

    I don't think I'm going to wake up from my nap.

   To anyone reading this: you were luckier than me, weren' t you?  I hope your luck holds out!  Catch you on the flip side...  if there is one...

  Jamie Connor