I have managed to survive another year without being served as the main course with my giblets on the side.

Don't know how.

Certain times of the year Humankind get stupid and wants ...  me ... for dinner.  I can't help it if my drumsticks look appetizing!

I am in hiding right now, writing to you from a secret location.  Don't ask me where I am; I can't and won't divulge that information.  You will NOT make me talk!!  LOL

I wish my older brother, Tony, were here, but sadly, he went to the turkey farm in the sky.  Yup.  He ended up on somebody's Thanksgiving table a few days early, surrounded by friends and cranberries.  What was cruel was that the family that murdered him took his picture, which was then posted on the daily news!

A nightmarish scene that will haunt me forever.  And we turkeys don't believe in ghosts.

But if I do say so, myself, he was a nice golden brown color.  Looked right healthy, even though he no longer had a head.  Or feathers.  He.  was.  Butt.  Naked!! 

The trials of being a turkey ...

I will be glad when Thanksgiving and Christmas (another big turkey-consumption day) are over.  I might then get to come out of hiding and show my wattles off to some potential turkey females. 

You don't know what it's like, having to lay low this time of year.  Wondering if your next gobble will be your last, as you stare down the barrel of a gun, and the gun owner is smiling with a gleam in his eyes!

Before I went "igcognito", met a lovely hen.  Her name's Sheila, and she's gorgeous!  Feathers in all the right places.  A tail to die for.  And that chest!  Holy cow!!  Whattawoman!! 

I hope I hear from her soon.  She usually texts me.  Haven't heard from her in a few days. 

I hope she's in hiding.  And not in somebody's stomach!

If I were to lose her, it would break my heart.  I love her so much!

It's a good thing I have my laptop.  We turkeys are not as old-fashioned as you think.  We are technologically savvy.  We know what's going on in the world.

Hey.  Who voted that turkey into the White House??

I've stopped exercising, unfortunately.  I've had to put myself on a diet.  Who wants a skinny turkey????  I've lost over half my weight; I'm half the bird I used to be.  Lookin' good, there, Tom!!  :)

Well, I hear some strange noises, so going to have to gobble on outta here.  Take care, and have a Happy Thanksgiving!!

Hopefully without ME as the main course!! 

~Signed, Tom the Turkey.  :(
 
(c) 2009, Karen Lynn Vidra/Karla Dorman (11/25)