Washington, D.C., January 4, 2010~

Dear All~

Blondelle Hawkins here.  Hope this finds y'all well; sorry for not writing, but you know how that goes, especially with me working over 40-60 hours a week, trying to earn some extra money.

I am also dealing with my cousin Shatikah Davis' passing; she died on Christmas Day.  She was only sixteen.  Her funeral was held two days after, on the 27th; it's been devastating to all of us because she died of stage-4 lung cancer and never even smoked.  I miss her so much; she was a vibrant young lady who clearly loved the Lord with all of her heart and soul!

For a while, we thought she was going to pull through; then during the last examination, the doctors found out that the cancer had spread to her bones, pancreas, and liver, and this was what got her.  It was a horrible time for her family as well for the rest of us.

I also had to go over to the cemetary to clean up the mess some punks had made of my cousin LaShundra's grave.  They vandalized her grave; we were very upset about it.  Still am; I mean, some people have no respect for the dead!  It's horrible!!

My cousin, LaShundra Michaels, was murdered nearly a year ago at the age of 18.  She died in February of last year, 2009.  I miss her as much now as I did back then, when this first happened.

I am still working at Cracker Barrel, working anywhere from 40-60 hours a week, as I said earlier.  I have to, in order to try to provide for my immediate family.  I love my job, but I wish things would get easier, to where we don't have to worry about bills or whatnot!

With everything costing so much, it's getting harder and harder to move ahead!

It doesn't look like I will be persuing my singing career after all.  Too much worries, too many bills.  Right now I have had to put it on the back burner until I get all the bills caught up.  Oh, the dream still burns bright in the very deepest part of my soul, but right now, finances are more important, as is trying to get the paid on time.

Christmas would have been okay had it not been for that phone call that morning, when we found out that young Shatikah had gone on to her Heavenly home, where she now lives with Jesus.  She had her whole life ahead of her; then she got sick, and everything was taken away from her.  I still can't get through a day without thinking about her, or crying my eyes out when I do.

Pardon me while I wipe my eyes; am crying now as I write this ...

Okay.  Sorry about that. 

In any event, I also found out that my baby brother, T-Man (short for Tyvarial Manuel), was arrested over last weekend when he got caught using drugs (meth).  He's now in jail, where he's awaiting someone to bail him out.  He's sixteen.  He's been in trouble for the past three years, since the age of thirteen, when he got involved in a gang.  I am very worried about his future.

So life isn't that good for me right now.  I could really use a touch from God, because right now I don't see anything happening, to where things would change for the better for me and my family!  Just keep me in your prayers; I really would appreciate it!

Thanks in advance!

~Blondelle Hawkins.  :(

*to be continued.*