Howdy from Temple, Texas!

Hank Williams Granger here.  Sorry if I haven't written in so long, but things have been crazy at best.  I hope y'all understand.

My pa, he is now in the hospital, fighting cirrhosis of the liver.  He is bad sick; they don't think he'll hold out much longer.  While I don't want my pa to die, he did this to himself, so in a way, I don't even feel sorry for him.

Ma, she is undergoing counseling from all the abuse she put up with when pa was drunk.  He really worked her over, and as a result, we kids have nightmares just about every night, especially my kid brother, Ernie, who is only ten years old.  Kids shouldn't have to see their fathers beating up their mothers!

Our Aunt Trixie (ma's sister) has moved in as caretaker while pa is gone, and to offer ma her support, or to give her a break when she sees him at the hospital.

We still have our dog, "Merle", who is a Rhodesian ridgeback.

I'm in the tenth grade now.  No longer such a little kid.  I've filled out; I'm about as big as I am ever going to get:  over 6'4" tall and easily over 245 pounds.  I am seriously thinking of signing up for football this coming fall; I think I'd really be good at it. 

Maybe it can help me deal with some of the aggression I've been holding in these past several years.  I haven't been a very pleasant person to be with, let me tell you!

Some people say I have turned downright nasty, mean.  Well, when you've had to witness what I have in life, wouldn't that affect you somewhat??  I don't mean to act stupid towards others, but when life keeps knocking you down, what do you do??

Aunt Trixie has suggested church more than once, but I don't fall for that religious crap.  To me it's only a crutch; don't need that in my life right now.  Maybe one day, yes, but not now.

She has also suggested that I pick up my guitar and start singing again.  She seems to think I have talent.  Maybe I do, but right now, my life is a mess; I really don't feel like singing, especially with pa being so sick.  I love him, but then again, I can't stand him.  I have so much anger towards him for what he's done to our family it's not even funny!

I see other kids with their families intact, and I always feel a pang of jealousy in my spirit.  I wish that my family could have been like theirs.

I am seeing a counselor myself for my anger, but I really don't see it helping any.  Maybe I should give it some time, but right now, I'm just as angry as I've ever been.  I see nothing good coming out of my life.  My life ain't nothin' but one big, stinkin' shithole!

Well, I gotta get ready for school and down some breakfast.  I will write in here again; take care and so long!

~Hank.  :(

*To be continued.*