Six episodes to go before the end of chapter 10 and the end of the preview. Cloyne Court episodes posted on Authors Den represent less than 25% of the novel.
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The SYL member screamed leftist diatribes at Kyd. Kyd remained on the floor unmoved by the animus. I assumed he knew his statement would provoke a response. Not to be outdone, a member of the RSB began his verbal attack against Kyd, the SYL, the New York Times and house members in general.
This caused several of the nonaligned members to become offended. Soon, everyone was yelling at the RSB member. Upon seeing a fellow radical verbally attacked by the mainstream political viewpoint, the SYL comrade banded with his Leninist pretender, and they began arguing with everyone else, their minor ideological differences forgotten. Some fists were raised by the time Sandy brought the meeting back to order.
Wayne, the parliamentarian, spoke in a knowledgeable voice. "We cannot decide on the issue until there’s a vote to first reconsider the motion to table. If that motion passes, we need to discuss whether to reconsider the tabled motion. If that vote passes, the motion is off the table and now open for discussion. Then there has to be a motion to reopen the discussion on whether to spend the forty dollars. If that votes passes, we open the floor to discussion on the merits of the issue. If that votes passes…"
Fifteen minutes later, nothing substantive had happened. I was getting bored.
"Next, old business," said Sandy. "Cindy has a report from the ad hoc committee to decide what brand of condoms the house should sell in the vending machines. Cindy."
Cindy moved to the table at the front center of the room, pulled six boxes of different brands of condoms from a paper bag, and placed them on the table. "First, I'd like to thank Ren for buying these items from the Euclid Drug store down the street." She pointed to Ren, who was seated on a couch beside his bunkie, Kimberly.
"You don’t know how embarrassing that was!" said Ren. "I had to ask the pharmacist for these items, because he kept them behind the counter. He gave me the strangest look. He says to me, ‘Will there be anything else?’ and I say, 'Yeah, I want a pack of cigarettes.' Then he says, 'I'll need to see some ID.' And I say, 'What do I need an ID for?' And he says, 'I need ID for the condoms, not the cigarettes.' And I say 'You mean to tell me I don’t need your permission to kill myself and others from smoke inhalation, but I need your permission to use birth control and disease prevention?' And he says 'Yup, that's the law.' And I said, 'Man, that's fucked up!'"
"Speaking of fucking," said Sandy, "let's get to the committee's recommendation."
Cindy said, "I gave samples to several volunteers and asked them to use them and rate them and report tonight. Any recommendations?"
Nobody raised his or her hands. I saw some men shift uncomfortably in their seats.
"Do you mean to tell me nobody used the samples I handed out last week?"
None of the male volunteers could look Cindy in the eye, but the women had their excuses.
"Sorry, I'm on the pill," said one.
"I use a diaphragm," said another.
"I use a sponge." Another volunteered.
"It was my period.…"
"Wait, stop! Too much information!" Sandy yelled. "I didn't need to hear that. Save it for the Sunday night women's group." More men shifted uncomfortably in their seats.
“C’mon people! We need to select one.” Wendy was pleading. “These yellow ones are rather cute.”
The house members whispered between themselves as Wendy led a serious discussion on which of the six prophylactics would be featured prominently in the vending machine. After a half-hour, the group had not reached a consensus and the meeting was becoming wearisome.
The glass paneled door to the sunroom opened and in walked Dick Fine. A hush came over the crowd. "Sorry I'm late," he said.
Dick walked to the table and opened each of the six individual samples. He pulled at them and stretched them. He blew them up like a balloon, filling each with air past its natural and intended shape grotesquely over sizing them. He held them to the light like a wine connoisseur and licked them for taste. That sent a titter of laughter through the audience. He took out a ballpoint pen and poked at each inflated condom. One popped. I noted which brand that was and mentally crossed it off my list. Dick stared at the finalists, picked one and proclaimed, "This one. The Trojan Ribbed Lambskin, Natural Color."
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This episode is based on a true story.
Although seventy-five percent of this memoir is factual, liberties were taken with the other twenty-five percent for plot purposes. That is where scenes were recreated from memory when they were not clearly defined in the journals written by the author from 1976 to 1980.
Individual characters are composites of several people and do not represent any one person, and the names have been changed to protect innocent people that may be guilty of indiscretions in their youth.
All characters, names and events as well as all places, incidents, organizations, and dialogue in this memoir should be considered products of the author’s imagination and are used fictitiously.
Cloyne Court Episodes will stop at the end of chapter 10. Episode 32 is in chapter 9. There are forty-nine chapters in this creative memoir. The preview posted on Authors Den only goes to the end of chapter 10.
