Ivalo, Finland, 16 Feb., 2010~

Dear Journal~

Terve!  Mitta kuuluu?  Kiitos hyvaa!

I am most sorry for the long delay in writing in my journal; since I last wrote, I've had to get some new medication for my fibromyalgia (the last round of meds only gave me bad side effects, including weight gain, the "shakes", and other terrifying symptoms), and I have to use a wheelchair sometimes if my fibromyalgia gets really bad.  I also have degenerative arthritis in my spine, so most mornings, I am very stiff; it takes a hot bath to "unlock" my muscles and joints.

In addition to that (and arguing with the new doctor, trying to tell him, that my pain is not "in my head"), I also had to bury my father last year (April; it's almost been a year already).  He died when he suffered a massive coronary (heart attack); he was eighty five years old.  He had a good, long, happy life, but his death still hit me and my sisters (Rachael and Elke) like a ton of bricks.  Mother, meanwhile, has developed dementia, so we had to make the painful decision of having her placed in a retirement home because with the demands of family (Rachael and Elke) and illness (myself), we couldn't properly care for her.

We visit Mother every weekend, to ensure that she is getting the proper care.  We are terrified that she might end up dead or getting abused; it's one of our worst nightmares.  So far, that hasn't happened, but we still worry about Mother!

It is disconcerting to see her memory disappearing.  One minute, she's lucid (that is, her mind is clear; she knows who we are); the next, she thinks we are strangers instead of her very own daughters, or she asks for Taaven (her husband, our daddy).  It is really sad!  It still makes us cry whenever we think of poor Mother's declining memory!

I see Sari sometimes; she now has three children:  two girls (Birtta Aurora and Ilsa Margarita) and one son (Erick).  The children have really gotten big:  Ilsa is now walking/talking, and Erick is in preschool.  As for Birtta, she is in "big kids" school and has proven to be an exceptionally bright little girl.  She (Sari) still has issues with her fibromyalgia and multiple sclerosis; lately it's been affecting her eyes; she's so scared that she might be going blind.

Pieter and Reiker (two of Elke's sons; they're 19 and 16 now) are in trouble at school:  their grades have slipped, and they've turned from sweet, caring boys to sullen, apathetic teenagers who don't care about anything (or anyone) but themselves.  They've had to spend time in dentention hall for the umpteenth time; poor mamma is beside herself with worry.  She's scared that her youngest (12-year-old Ollaf) will end up just like them.   Pieter, Reiker, and Ollaf are my nephews.

Zara and Ericka, my nieces (they're the daughters of my other sister, Rachael; they're 17 and 13), are doing much better:  both are on the honour roll at their perspective schools, and they continue to be a source of delight to all who know them.

I seriously think Pieter and Reiker need to take lessons from their cousins!  They've really turned into problem teens; it worries me that they might get involved in gang activity or into drugs!!

I am happy to say I still have my Norwegian Forest Cat, "Kittencat".  She's gotten fat, sassy, and purrs constantly; she is my closest companion other than my sisters and their families.  I love her; she makes me forget of any pain or other medical problems I might be facing at the current time!

I have been watching the Winter Olympic Games from Vancouver, British Columbia.  Have been enjoying them emmensely; however, the fact that an athete from the Russian country of Georgia was killed during the last luge practice run has cast a dark shadow over the Games.  He was only 21 years old.  My heart goes out to his family, friends, coaches, and teammates:  I have been praying for them every night before I retire to bed.

Finland, meanwhile, has yet to medal; the United States leads the way with eight medals, including three golds, with Germany trailing behind, in second place.  The ice skating (pairs division) reign of Russia has been snapped after forty six years, when a couple from China claimed the gold medal; they also got a silver medal in the event.  Germany, meanwhile, earned the bronze.

The Olympics had a memorial service for the luger I mentioned above; I am sure many tears were shed.  Such a sad thing to have happen, and right before the Olympics even got started!  I can't even begin to imagine what that must have been like for those who were there to witness the crash (and the aftermath)!

The weather here has been cold:  nothing new there, seeing this is the Arctic!  I will be sooo glad when it's spring; basically the cold has kept me inside all winter.  Cold weather does not bode well with fibromyalgia at all!!

My frinnd, Riivka Ibbotsenn, who developed juvenile rheumatoid arthritis (JRA) as a child, has just about recovered from her latest surgery:  she had both hips replaced.  She's been laid up until just recently; it is good to see her up and walking again (with a walker, but she is walking!); she says the pain is just about gone and she is laughing and smiling again!

I wish there was something that could be done to replace my poor, abused muscles or stop the pain in its tracks!!!!

Well, the phone is ringing, so I will lurch over to answer it.  I will write in here again soon; again, I'm sorry for the long lapse in writing; now you know why I haven't written.  If it hasn't been one thing, it's been another, plus my father's death hit me (and my sisters) very hard.  I hope you understand.  In any event, I'd better answer that phone; it's about to drive me mad!  I will talk to you later; take care and God bless!  Nakemiin!

~Love, your friend, Annike Terggen in Finland.