It couldn’t be a scarier situation. We had finally managed to put the grab on Ken again and now we were in hiding. Not because we had Ken, well that was part of it, but because Max’s sister, the Gargoyle, was aware of our snatching of Ken and was flying over head on her broom looking for us.
We thought we had pulled off the prefect caper again, but we had barely got out of the house and over the hill before we heard the screech of death echo across the valley. It had to be that no good Raggedy Ann that squealed. Her day will come, she is as much trouble to Barbie Doll and us as that two timing Ken was.
Luckily we had made it to the club house and had Ken tied up and gagged so he would stay quite. We were watching out the windows to see how many times she flew by and if we were going to have to feed Ken to the pigs, not sure they would eat him after all they had standards too, and run for our lives. So far she was ignoring the club house, which should have been a clue to us, but there are days we are not the smartest people around.
We settled in for a long siege. We looked at Ken who was just laying around like a doll, he ain’t fooling us, and decided we may have surrender him if we were ever going to get out of here. Fortunately for us we had found a jug of 7up®, anyway it smelled like 7up®, in the basement of Max’s house, so we had something to hold us over and it was looking like it was going to be a long day.
The Gargoyles side:
The day started as any other day, my idiot brother Max and his mentally challenged friend Randy were up to the usually stuff. Getting in trouble and blaming me for it. I tell you I was going to have to put a stop to this. I mean after all I am just a poor defenseless female, the poor underappreciated sister. My poor mother was just working her poor fingers to the bone to keep us all in line, I mean Max in line. Me, I am always prefect and cause no trouble for anybody, but I do make exceptions for my brother and the village idiot he runs with.
I could forget about the time they ran a herd of sheep over me, even for beating me up in a tent claiming they thought it was a bear. But I cannot forgive the kidnapping of Raggedy Ann and Ken. That is totally unacceptable and they have to pay, oh do they have to pay.
Ken Doll and myself have been communicating about this and we have devised a plan, a hideous plan, but before we could put it into action he was grabbed by the evil doers of the village. This was a serious blow to me, without Ken I could not complete my evil plan for those two. When I discovered that Ken was missing, I immediately took to the air to hunt the vermin down. No, no not to the air, I didn’t mean to say that, I mean I started looking high and low, more high than low.
I found them right away, I seen their bitty little eyes looking out from the windows of their so called club house. I had scouted it out many times before when they were not around, so I know all the weaknesses of the place. The last time I was in I also discovered their stash of Gin. Yea I said Gin.
Apparently they had taken it from the house where dad had it hidden. Boy, were they in trouble. This might work out better than the evil plan Ken and I had planned for them. All I had to do now was wait for them to get thirsty and start drinking.
US:
I was getting thirsty so I got the jug of 7up® out and took a drink. WOW that was good stuff, I don’t remember 7up® tasting like that but WOW was it good. Max took a drink and looked at me “wow, that is the best 7up® I have had.” “Groovy” I replied, “cool”. We both had a few more drinks and man was that great stuff.
After a few swigs on the jug we went back to watching for the Gargoyle. After a few more drinks Ken started talking to us and of course he was rubbing it to us, “She is looking for me and you are going to get it when she finds us” he kept saying. “She won’t find us, you are at our mercy” I kept telling him. But neither one of us believed what I was saying, we knew it was only a matter of time before she pounced.
We never though anything about the fact that Ken was talking to us, couple more swigs on the jug relaxed us some more, all the while holding a conversation with Ken, he was really an alright guy.
I tried to get up and check out the windows but my legs wouldn’t move. “Max I think you should check and see where your sister is, my legs aren’t working for some reason.”
“Sure, buddy, no problem” he replied, getting up and falling over on his face. “Ow” was all he said.
All I could do was stare at him and then I started laughing and couldn’t quit. Even Ken as laughing at him, I looked at him and asked “What you laughing at?” He looked at me and started laughing at me too. What was wrong with this guy, here he was being held hostage and he was laughing at us but I didn’t care, he was a good sport about all this. Maybe he wasn’t so bad after all we may have to let him hang with us more often.
I heard Max laughing now, ok this was strange, he fell on his face and he is laughing. Something is wrong with this picture, better have another drink, so I took another swig and so did Max. Boy I got to say that was the best 7up® ever, smooth it was so smooth I can’t describe it. I couldn’t get up off the floor but boy was it good.
Gargoyle:
Ok I had seen enough, they were laughing and carrying on where good and drunk. I went to the house and found mom. “Mom, I think you need to go check on the Max and Randy. I think they are drunk out in their clubhouse.”
“WHAT? What makes you think that?”
“Well they are lying around laughing and drinking dad’s Gin.” I said
“WHAT?” and out the door she headed. Oh boy oh boy this was going to be good. I couldn’t wait. It only took a minute for mom to get to the clubhouse and into the door she went. Boy did she hit the roof when see the bottle of Gin laying on the floor by the two idiots.
Us:
I looked up and there was Max’s mom looking down at us and it was not a happy look. “Max, I think you mom’s here” I said. Max looked up and said “Cool. Hi mom”.
“Don’t Hi mom me, what do you two knuckleheads think you’re doing drinking Gin?” she asked in a high pitched voice.
“Gin” Max said “What Gin? We been drinking the 7up® we found down stairs.”
“What do you think the word Gin printed on the bottle means? Ginger ale? You can’t be that dense, nobody is that dumb” I was thinking I must fall in the latter category because I thought that was what it meant.
I looked over and the Gargoyle was holding Ken by one hand and was smiling at us like it was the end for us, this can’t be good. Max’s mom jerked us up pushed us in front of her to march us into the house, but when she let go we melted to the floor like limp laundry. She grabbed us and jerked us up again and held on marching us to the house, out feet barely touching the ground. Which was alright with me, the ground was spinning all around anyway couldn’t have walked a straight line if I had to, weird.
She found Max’s dad and told him what had happened, really reading him the riot act for leaving his booze where it could be found. He just laughed at us, I didn’t understand what he found funny, but what the hey, Max and I both just laughed with him, and a good time was had by all. Well almost all, Max’s mom was not smiling or laughing.
She then called my mom, huh oh, and told her that we were drunk. My mom was at the door by the time Max’s mom had hung up the phone. This was a real huh oh. She marched in grabbed me by the nape of the neck and we were out the door before it could swing shut from her coming in. There was something wrong with this situation.
When I got home all I wanted to do was sleep but it was not to be. She immediately put me to work out in the corral shoveling manure. You ever been sick/drunk and had to shovel manure? Not good.
It was a while before Max and me were allowed to hang out together again. I am going to have to look up the word Gin and see what it is. All I know is that it was some of the best stuff we had ever had.
Gargoyle:
Boy was it great when mom got to the club house I was almost giddy with evil delight. There they lay with the Gin bottle in between them. And then that idiot Randy had the brains to say he thought the stuff was ginger ale after mom got done yelling at them. Boy you should have seen moms’ face at that brilliant statement. When she grabbed them off the floor and marched them into the house I almost, almost, felt sorry for them. Naan. Why ruin a good ending to the day.
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