Dougie here.  Thought I would update you on how things are going for me. 

I am doing a lot better since moving to Grandma's; the stress level is considerably less than it was when I was living at home, and my grades have improved, too.

I wish I could say the same for Tybee, my brother.  At the age of fourteen, nearly fifteen, he is more like a big, overgrown baby:  he cannot walk or talk; he nearly drownded over a year ago, and he was left severely brain damaged.  He can no longer walk, talk, or do anything for himself:  he has to have people take care of him 24/7. 

I still say I was responsible for him ending up like he did:  if I would have just locked that gate that led to the pool, none of this would have ever happened, and Tybee would be annoying the flop out of me, just like he used to before this happened to him.  I miss those days; funny to say it, but I do.  I miss his corny jokes, his "Indian arm burns", and his braying laugh.

Now he spends his days sitting in his wheelchair, drooling all over himself, and staring blankly at the world around him.  He doesn't seem to be aware of what is going on around him; he just sits there like a big bump on a log.  It's really depressing.

I have been seeing a counselor to help me deal with what's happened to my brother, but I really don't see it making much of a difference.  I still say it was my fault that Tybee ended up like he did.  People keep trying to convince me otherwise, but it's hard when all I can see is the image of him lying in the pool, floating face down, or the paramedics trying to revive him.  I see that image over and over again; it's been burned into my mind's eye for all eternity.

Or I see him having one of his seizures and his scaring the hell outta me whenever it happens.  I always thought he was going to die, but thank God he is still alive.  Yet that is no way for a kid to live:  I woldn't wish Tybee's situation on anybody, not even my own worst enemy!

Grandma has been a wonderful support system to me.  In fact, it was she who suggested the counseling.  At first, I balked, but then I listened, and I am starting to get my life back.  Now if I can only get rid of the memories ...  Oh, those memories!!

For Easter/spring break, I am going to go see my family.  I would like to try to give them a second chance and see if Tybee has made any headway in his recovery since the accident.  I somehow doubt that he has, but I do have hope; hope springs eternal, as they say.  It will be good to see them all again!

Well, it's getting late; tomorrow I am going to go skateboarding with my friends and see if I can find something for Tybee for Easter.  I think he would like something, maybe a video or a toy; something to keep him occupied during his long, boring days at home.  Take care and please say a prayer for us, and especially for my brother:  pray he gets his mind back; I don't like seeing him like this!  Thanks in advance!

~Dougie.  :(

*to be continued.*