If I could ship my little brother to Siberia (or better yet, outer space), I'd have it made in the shade!

Ever since he came into my world six years ago, my life has been a living nightmare.  Whoever thought that someone so little could be such a giant pain in my rear??

I'm talking about my brother, of course.  Allen (though I call him "Alien", 'cause he is!).  He gives new meaning to the word "bad".  He makes Dennis-the-Menace look like an angel!!

Consider some of his antics thus far:

~He rubbed shortening on the cat.

~He put a spider in the microwave, "just so's he could see what would happen next".

~He put my underwear on the clothesline, for all the neighbors to see.

~He tied all of my shoelaces together, and I had to cut 'em apart with a pair of scissors.

~He thew all of my belongings out of the window of my bedroom "'cause he didn't want a girl livin' in the house".

~He blew daddy out of bed with his trumpet ... at five in the morning.  (Daddy was ready to kill him!!)

~He emptied mom's perfume down the toilet.

~He smeared chocolate all over himself, his clothes, and his hair.  He was a syrupy mess!

~He read my diary to his class for show-and-tell.

~He told his friends that I was adopted (I am, but it shouldn't matter!!).

That's just the tip of the iceberg.  He's done all this ... and so much more!  I am ready to sell him to the Inuit people in Alaska; I've had it up to here with all of his shenanigans!!

Of course, mom and daddy think I'm overexaggerating when I tell them of what Allen has done to me in the past.  They tend to side with him every time:  all they have to do is look at his sweet, freckled innocent little face, and they can never stay mad at him for long.  Meanwhile, I'm the one who gets into trouble or grounded for "pickin' on my little brother; I should know better". 

It just doesn't seem to make any sense!!

I don't know what I should do to pay him back; every one of my thoughts on how to "get even" with Allen involve one of two things:  violence or murder.

I don't konw why Allen can get away with everything while I get the shaft, even if it's his fault or his doing!!  I tell ya, life sure isn't fair!!  (Especially mine!!)

The topper came last week when he told my boyfriend that I was perfect for kissing.  I don't know where he picked that up from, but I happened to be in the next room when he said it (I was changing clothes at the time after we'd come home from school).  Of course, my boyfriend thought it was funny; when he told me, all I could do was try to keep from killing my (mutant) brother. 

I am still mad at him.  I haven't said more than two words to him, and I refuse to give in to him or look at his grubby, cute little face; after all, I do want to keep my dinner where it belongs: in my stomach!  If I do say anything, it's to tell him to get out of the way or hurry up.

Mom and daddy said I should be more loving towards him; I try, believe me, but I think back to all he has done to me, and I find it very hard to love him or to forgive him!  He's been the bane of my existance, and I am ready to pay him back somehow!!

If you had a little brother like Alien (Allen), you'd see exactly what I mean and/or why I feel the way I do about him!  He's nothing but a brat with a capital B!!