Today I get a long distanz call from Beanpole Starkman, don'tcha know, all the way from Myami Beech Florrada. He's there visitin his old uncle Muler who hasn't seen his teeth in 30 years.

Well, Muler and Beanpole get this bet goin and Beanpole wants me to deklare him the winner. Ya see, Muler and t'other folks down there believe us Kannadians are droppin like flees cause our healthy care sisstem ain't workin. In fact, there callin it a dizasster. Do you believe that? A DIZ-ASS-TER!

Well, this ol gal shouts inta that ear piece: Muler Starkman. THAT JUST AIN'T TRUE!! Guess I musta yelled perdy loud cause Muler fallz bak inta a bowl o dip n all four table legs buckle and wham!...down he goes like the front end of the Tight-Annik.

Next thing I know, Beanpoles a-callin a ambulanz and arguin somethin bout Muler's preveeus condition. And I'm thinkin...if yer older than ten, yer gonna have some kind o preveeus condition, lest ya been shut in bed since birth, don'tcha know.

Hmm, our diz-ass-truss healthy care sisstem, posh. Why jest last week, Lake WhaddyathinkImean's varry own, Clein Megner, got two brand new knee caps, and Gracey Shmolen got THREE (one fer her sister, Rose). And how bout Manny and Evner Flutterman? Why they got themselfs two new hips and a colun-oz-crappy to boot!

I mean sum of our south-o-the-border naybors need to know the fax.

We do NOT wear snowshoes in the SUMMERTIME! Our poleezman do NOT ride round in Santa-red-mowntie outfitz and park their horses at Tim Horton's. And we DO get sum perdy good healthy care here in Kannada.

And you know what? I feel good jest fer sayin' so!

Nightie night. Maybelle